Although the law is fair and merciless, many local courts have issued divorce papers, which makes us feel the warmth of the law. There will be some questions in the test paper, such as' what words or things the other party said or did when they were in love are moving ','who will break the deadlock first in case of conflict, what way to do it?','What responsibilities have you done in your family, what are the good and bad things you have done, and how do you plan to improve them '.
Based on these, the investigators can preliminarily analyze the real situation of marriage, and then decide whether to reconcile or hold a court session.
In this regard, Gao Xiaohong, a lawyer from Beijing Bain marriage law firm, expressed her own views
Lawyer Gao Xiaohong said:
Generally speaking, this move of the court has a positive significance. For example, judging from the high divorce rate in our country, many divorced couples have come to this stage, but they may not consider it clearly. Such a move of the court will play a redeeming role for those couples who have come to this stage of divorce because of impulse, and it will also have a positive effect A better effect, for those families with children will also play a very good role.
Secondly, for the couple, the 'divorce test paper' is really a test for them, and in the process of answering the questions, it also combs their feelings, so that they can know that divorce can not be said casually, because it is too emotional, and it will make them cherish their marriage life more.
On the other hand, it remains to be tested whether the topic of the divorce test paper is suitable for every couple. Moreover, the effect of the court's move may not be obvious for those couples with mature ideas. It's just a delay in time.
According to my experience, when the two sides go to court, the contradiction is generally irreconcilable. At this time, this paper will not play a great role, but if the paper is sent to the Civil Affairs Department, it will still have a good effect on reducing the number of impulsive divorces.
Divorce is indeed a matter of caution, especially for couples with children. What issues do you need to consider before divorce?
1. Is the relationship between the two really broken or angry
When they get divorced, there is no need to investigate who is responsible for the breakdown of their marriage. Most of the time, divorced couples don't have deep hatred. They just live a flat life, or are tired of aesthetics, and even feel that there is no passion between them. Therefore, they are lazy in their attitude towards marriage, and they begin to quarrel and quarrel with each other They complain to each other and blurt out divorce as a quarrel in an irrational way. In fact, this kind of impulsive divorce accounts for the vast majority, and those who regret after divorce also account for the vast majority. Therefore, if we can't be calm and rational before divorce, there is no need to investigate who is responsible for the breakdown of divorce after divorce. You know, no problem can be formed by one person, and both parties are responsible for the divorce.
2. Is marriage contradiction still difficult to eliminate or getting worse under negotiation and mediation
If you feel that you don't want to divorce, but because of your own face, you can take the cold war to calm both parties down, and then find an opportunity to slowly repair the cracks in your marriage. Especially women, when the marriage red light, do not find your best friend or relatives and friends to cry, to know that this was originally the privacy between your husband and wife, or the anger between husband and wife, if you let your best friend or relatives and friends know, it will make the man feel more shameless, it will make the man's attitude to you more tough. At the same time, you will not review your own shortcomings in the process of crying, which will make your prejudice on the relationship between husband and wife more extreme. The problem is that the person who hears you cry will really help you? The solution of the problem depends on the wisdom of both of you.
3. Do the two parties consider each other's dignity when solving the marriage crisis
If the marriage is really irreparable, please leave more dignity for each other. Most of the time, divorce is just a temporary impulse. Once the marriage really comes to an end, they always blame each other for burying each other's marriage, or trying to find the problems existing in the marriage, and use right and wrong to define the marriage problems. In fact, there is no right and wrong in marriage. The family is just a place to be compassionate and never a place to be reasonable. This method of using right and wrong to solve problems can not solve the contradiction, sometimes it will aggravate the problem. Therefore, once the marriage has really entered a dead end, the two sides of the divorce should stop the war, stop abusing and quarreling, and leave some dignity for both sides. After all, the married couple is not the enemy, just let the common life return to the separate life.
4. Do couples think of their children's feelings and hurt when they divorce
Which couple doesn't quarrel? Any couple can't be strong, and one of them should learn to be modest. Therefore, when divorce is on the table, it's the best choice not to divorce. Sometimes, before divorce, a couple should think more about their children. From the perspective of children, they should think about their views on parents' quarrel and divorce. Quarrel only makes their children feel upset, and divorce will bring harm to their children. Especially for divorced and remarried parents, let their children face two dads and two moms. This kind of complex relationship will make the children feel that they have no home and no one wants them.
5. Are there any positive measures taken by both parties in case of marriage cracks
Each family has its own way to solve the crisis, especially when it comes to its own family As like as two peas, they must not listen to their friends' successful experiences. These experiences may be useful to their husband and wife, but they may not be used to solve the conflict between your husband and wife. A key to open a lock, only to find the main reasons leading to the breakdown of your marriage, and for these incentives to consider, is to pursue the warm memories in the process of two people's love, or to recall the good years in love together, is to consider repairing the relationship or completely abandon this marriage?
Although love is easy, marriage is not easy, and the line and cherish.