How to improve EQ skills
4hw.org: EQ is a person's emotion, emotion, inhibition, and all kinds of qualities displayed in his life. EQ is particularly important in the current society, even far beyond IQ. A person's EQ determines his position in work or life, so how can he improve his EQ? Let's have a look!
According to American psychologists, EQ includes the following aspects:
One is to know one's own emotions. Because only when you know yourself can you become the master of your life.
The second is to be able to properly manage their emotions. I can control myself;
Third, self motivation, which can make people out of the low tide of life and start again.
Fourth, recognize the emotions of others. This is the basis of normal communication with others and smooth communication;
Fifth, the management of interpersonal relationship. That is, leadership and management capabilities.
EQ is a kind of ability that can sense, understand and effectively apply the power and intelligence of emotion as the source of human energy, information and influence. EQ not only shows rational intelligence, but also comes from human intelligence. Improving EQ enables us to learn to recognize and cherish the feelings of us and others. In our daily life and work, we can properly respond to them and effectively apply the power of information and emotion. EQ encourages us to continue to explore our special potential and goal, and inspire our deepest value and desire, and transform our thoughts into real life.
The level of EQ is not as accurate as the level of intelligence, which can only be judged according to the comprehensive performance of individuals. Psychologists also believe that people with high EQ level have the following characteristics: strong social ability, outgoing and happy, not easy to fall into fear or sadness, more engaged in career, integrity, compassionate, rich but not out of moment emotional life, whether alone or with many people can enjoy themselves. Experts also believe that whether a person has high EQ or not is closely related to childhood education. Therefore, the cultivation of EQ should start from an early age.
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We can not predict IQ, but can improve Eq. an outstanding person may not have high IQ, but must have high Eq. There is a simple and easy way to improve Eq. what you need is persistence.
1. It is good for everyone to learn to draw proper psychological boundaries.
You may think it's a good thing that you don't know the boundaries with others, so that you can get along with each other as much as you like, and you don't have to haggle with each other. This may sound reasonable, but its disadvantage is that people often hurt your feelings while you don't know it.
In fact, it's not hard for you to observe the surroundings carefully. People with poor boundary ability are prone to morbid phobia. They will not fight with the aggressor, but prefer to talk to the third party. If we are the one who violates other people's psychological boundaries, we will feel like a cold-blooded fool when we find out the truth. At the same time, we will feel hurt, because we both blame ourselves for our own mistakes, and we are angry at a third party involved in our comments.
Clear boundaries are good for everyone. You have to understand what other people can and can't do to you. When someone violates your mental boundaries, tell them to get right. If you can't always draw mental boundaries, then you need to improve your cognitive level.
2. Find a suitable way to calm yourself when you feel that you are going to lose your mind, so that the blood can stay in your brain and make rational actions.
Americans once jokingly said: when things happen, rational children let the blood into the brain, can think intelligently; savage children let the blood into the limbs, the brain is empty, crazy and impulsive.
Yes, when the blood is full of the brain, you have a clear mind and proper behavior. On the contrary, when the blood flows to your limbs and tongue, you will do stupid things, impulsive and angry, and speak indiscriminately.
In fact, scientific experiments have shown that when we become over stressed under pressure, the blood does leave the cerebral cortex, and we misbehave. At this point, the nature of animals in the brain plays a leading role, making us act like the most primitive animals. You know, in a civilized society, acting like a primitive animal can cause great trouble.
There are many strategies for controlling emotional outbursts. One of them is to pay attention to your heart rate, which is an accurate ruler for measuring emotions. When your heart beats more than 100 times a minute, it's important to clean up your mood. At this rate, the body secretes much more adrenaline than usual. We're going to lose our heads and become fighting crickets.
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When the blood begins to flow to the limbs again, you can use the following methods to calm your mood:
1. Take a deep breath until you calm down. Inhale slowly and deeply to fill the whole lung. Place one hand on your abdomen to make sure you breathe properly.
2. Talk to yourself. Say to yourself, 'I'm calm. 'or:' everything will pass. '
3. Some people use hydrotherapy. A hot bath may cause your anger and anxiety to disappear with the foam of the bath.
4. You can also try the method of Donald Middleton, an American psychologist: think about the unpleasant things, put your fingertips on your forehead above the eyebrows, press your thumb on the temple, and inhale deeply. In just a few minutes, the blood will return to the cortex and you will be able to think more calmly, according to Aiden.
3. When you want to complain, stop and ask yourself: 'do I want to continue to endure this seemingly unchangeable situation, or do I want to change it?'
For endless complaints, we call it nagging. Complaining consumes effort without any result, is useless to the problem, and rarely makes us feel better.
Almost all of us find that if we talk about our grievances to a sympathetic third party and he gets angry with us, we will feel better. Someone said to you: 'poor baby. 'it's a great comfort for you. Your stress seems to be relieved, so you can face the original situation again, even though nothing has changed.
But if you don't complain, you will feel great psychological pressure. Sometimes stress is not a bad thing. Yes, it may make you feel uncomfortable, but it is also the power to make you change. Once the pressure is reduced, it is easy to maintain the status quo. However, if the pressure is not lost in the complaint, it will push up to a limit and force you to take action to change the status quo.
So when you are going to complain to a friend who sympathizes with you, first ask yourself: do I want to reduce the pressure and maintain the status quo, or do I want the pressure to continue to make me change all this? If it is the former, then drive the pressure away by complaining. There are times when everyone complains, it will make us feel better for a while. But if the situation really needs to change, make up your mind and take action!
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4. Eliminate all waste of energy.
What is the power that is not conducive to improving our EQ? The answer is everything that wastes energy.
Many people have thick calluses in their nervous system like their father's hands. We are used to not being aware of the energy consumption. Energy is subtle, but you can also experience significant changes, such as a surge in adrenaline when you hear good news, and exhaustion when you hear bad news. We usually don't pay attention to the subtle consumption of energy, such as getting along with a negative person, looking for a piece of paper on the table and so on.
What are the slow energy drain things in your life? There is a small carpet in the corner of my house. Every time I see it, I think someone might trip over it. It wasn't a big deal, but it distracted me. That's how we define the distractions - the distractions we feel after each contact. Sometimes it's the same with friends - sucking and giving energy to each other - but some are energy vampires, they just suck your energy. At this time, there are two options: one is to face up to the problem, establish psychological boundaries and continue to interact with them cautiously; the other is to reduce the interaction with such people.
It's true that we need to get rid of the slow waste of energy and get out of it to focus on improving our Eq.
To accelerate - you can choose to reduce drag or increase propulsion.
Try our approach:
1. Always list the things that consume your energy.
2. Analyze the following list systematically and divide it into two parts:
A. something can be done.
B. unalterable.
3. Solve the problems in order a one by one. For example, for me, hang the car key on a fixed hook so that I don't have to look around.
4. Take a look at the problems in sheet B. are you sure? Is it possible to transfer some of them to sheet a for solution?
5. Give up the problems in sheet B.
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5. Find a living example in your life.
We have all experienced the era of learning from examples, which are noble and distant to us. So our enthusiasm to learn from our role models gradually died out in the distance from them, because we know that we may not be great heroes in our life.
Yes, you can't be a great hero, but you can be a happy ordinary person, such as your friend Daning, who is energetic, young, generous, intelligent and interesting. She runs a gynaecological clinic, works as a company consultant, and is a regular columnist for a city. She has a handsome husband and lovely daughter.
Do you have such an outstanding person around you? Take him as your example! You can think: I can do what she can, but we have different styles. I can't do what she does in her way. But I will imitate some of the things she did and do it my way. You can always see potential in her that you never realize.
Find examples from the people around you who are smarter, better educated, better educated, and more determined than you. You will naturally improve your EQ as you pursue them.
6. Be a parent.
Being a parent will teach you a lot. When a child screams' why don't you buy it for me? I hate you! ', you can't despair, you can't rage, you need to understand him and accept the reality of extreme resentment. You know, this is the best gift a child can give you. Of course, this hate should not last.
Raising children is a win-win outcome. Having a baby