It is said that parents are the first teachers of children, so it is a very happy thing for children to grow up in a sound, happy, sunny and positive environment, so don't leave indelible shadow for children's childhood!
She took 23 years to get out of the shadow of domestic violence. The beauty director complained: why should children be filial to their parents? When their father beat their mother, their mother beat their daughter while their father was not. The beauty director suffered domestic violence at the age of 11 and received psychological treatment at the age of 34. She asked with her speech: why can parents abuse their children at will, but children should be filial to such parents?
How much influence does domestic violence have on a child?
Many children in China who were treated violently by their parents as children often look normal when they grow up, but there are unimaginable wounds in their hearts.
The best example is someone I know:
He was fostered at the age of one and sent to kindergarten at the age of two.
At the age of 3, he was kicked by his father from the door to the room, hit the wall and passed out for half a day.
Five years old, because playing with leaves, he was said by his father to be a child picking up rubbish. He never made a living
7-year-old because he didn't come back from school in time to cook for his father, he was taken to the field and hanged upside down to fight violently.
At the age of 10, my father was chased to the school to fight in front of all the teachers and students because he was not advanced in the unit.
As for tearing books and homework books, it's a common practice. As long as Dad's mood comes up, he can beat whatever he has in his hand. Chopsticks, itching, wet towels, small benches & hellip; & hellip; all in all, there are new 'surprises' every day, regardless of occasion and reason, until he's tired.
At the age of 14, when he was beaten, he knew he had resisted, so he ran out with his shoes. He had been away from home for more than 40 days for the first time. During the day in the street, at night to sleep in the Internet bar, overnight learned to smoke and drink to mix society.
Don't ask me why I know so much, because this man is my husband.
But it's such a "problem youth" that at the beginning of our acquaintance, he was already a handsome young man with a sunny appearance. The scars on his body have receded. As for his psychology, as long as he doesn't say, no one knows that he was beaten up since childhood.
When I first came to his house and saw the amiable old man, I almost doubted whether his stories were all made up. Because there's really no way to match the cruel father who raped his children with the kind old man in front of him.
In fact, not only did he suffer from physical pain when he was a child, but his father was also a good hand at mental abuse.
If ten years of not talking to children can only be regarded as a kind of cold violence, then the verbal violence such as "fool", "fool", "how to produce such a thing as you, I don't know who!" and "you have nothing in your life!" is also easy to master.
But all this was hidden under the surface, and it didn't come out until after marriage.
1. Serious procrastination
When he was ill as a child, his parents never took him to the hospital in time until he coughed up blood. Now that he is ill, he tries to carry it. He can't carry it anymore.
2. Desperately suppress the legitimate desire of the heart
Roller skates, drawing boards, tapes & hellip; & hellip; these legitimate needs of childhood are not bought for 'poor family'. But in fact, his family is far better than ordinary students. So now he is also desperate to suppress any material needs. He can be happy for a long time with a little gift, like a child who is seriously short of toys.
3. Serious self distrust
I haven't been affirmed by my parents since I was a child, but I still feel very insecure now, especially when I need to make a big decision.
4. The relationship with the superior is very tense
The relationship with dad has always been bad, and the relationship with leaders has not been harmonious. They are eager to challenge authority, but they lack confidence.
5. It's easy to believe in others, and once hurt, it will be totally denied
Like a lonely hedgehog, though eager for warmth, he has thorns all over his body that make him inaccessible. You can make friends, but it's hard to make friends.
6. Jealous and insecure
Even if the three-year-old son said, 'Bad Dad! I don't want you!' he couldn't stand it. He had to fight with his son for a long time.
Children in a family can not get the care and respect they should have, so they are bound to find another way to vent. The way he chose was to leave home far away.
But even after so many years away from home, his father never called him. When he called, he was very impatient.
With regard to the past experience of being beaten, his parents have gone through generations with such understatement as "don't remember!" or "beating is for you!". As a child, he was not even given a chance to listen and complain.
He himself is usually very provincial, reluctant to eat and drink, but as soon as he has good things, he thinks of his parents at the first time. The pressure of work and life never tells parents, but when there is any good news, they will immediately report to their parents.