Recently, because of a "blind date price list", Beijing's "white hair blind date corner" attracted attention. Some parents compete with each other in the process of choosing partners for their children, and even grow a chain of 'disdain' from this obsession and expectation. At the same time of pitying parents, where will real love be placed for children?
In Zhongshan Park and Tiantan Park, many parents come together to help their children choose their spouse. In this process, there will inevitably be some material considerations. Therefore, the conditions of dating are divided into household registration, real estate, education, income, family background and other indicators. In the minds of many parents, "door-to-door" is the obsession, and "climbing a high branch" is the expectation. Even from this obsession and expectation, a chain of "disdain" has grown. (this article is exclusively compiled by WYH, editor of sihai.com. If you need to reprint it, please indicate the source and source. Related article link: http://www.4hw.com.cn/life/zone.html)
Pity the parents all over the world. The rational calculation of parents can be understood, which is to some extent the projection of their growth experience and social experience on their children's marriage. Some of them have experienced the years of being educated youth in the countryside, some of them have experienced the feeling of being laid off in the reform, some of them are dissatisfied with the disappointment in their life, some of them see more marriage disputes caused by their status and wealth, so they regard material security as the bottom line of their children's marriage happiness.
Such considerations are not unreasonable. Just, a cold bottom line, but I do not know how much isolation of the warm love, and the loss of a few know each other and love each other. Parents only see the poor couple's sorrow, but they don't see how many marriages break up because of the inability of both parties to maintain their feelings and the failure of emotional control. As a comment said: 'the demons are not removed, there is no basis for love, and the way ahead is mostly evil. '(this article is exclusively compiled by WYH, editor of sihai.com. If you need to reprint it, please indicate the source and source. Related article link: http://www.4hw.com.cn/life/zone.html)
Marriage can not avoid the material basis, but also can not lack the love base. From the perspective of trend, as early as the 1970s, Becker, an American economist, believed that in the process of modernization, with the accumulation of social material wealth, the improvement of social security system and the improvement of social welfare level, people's motivation to maintain and improve their social position through marriage gradually declined, and marriage based on love and across social strata began to grow 。 From the micro point of view, the "white hair dating angle" is very popular, but the success rate is very low. Studies have shown that the success rate of "white hair dating angle" in Shanghai is less than 1%. It can be seen that for marriage and family, it is still more about the consideration of feelings and the combination of "three views", which is the stable foundation of marriage harmony and family happiness. With the development of Chinese society, marriage based on love will be the mainstream value of marriage. Therefore, to calculate the material gain and loss for a while is better than to calculate the happiness guarantee for a lifetime. Take value as the weight of marriage, the price may be love. (this article is exclusively compiled by WYH, editor of sihai.com. If you need to reprint it, please indicate the source and source. Related article link: http://www.4hw.com.cn/life/zone.html)
Needless to say, the marriage anxiety behind the "matchmaking price list" is mixed with the desire to move up, but in essence it is the prevention of the downward slide, reflecting the impact of marriage on personal life. It has been summarized that in the '50s, heroes were chosen, in the' 60s, poor peasants were sought, in the '70s, military barracks were run, and in the' 80s, advanced knowledge was sought '. It can be seen that the standard of marriage has changed and is closely related to the changes of the whole society. While thinking about the price list of "blind date" in parents' mind, we might as well think about the social mentality and social value behind the price list.