Premarital cohabitation trial marriage is now widely accepted, and 'flash marriage' will be considered irrational. However, premarital cohabitation can not guarantee that the breakup rate will decline. On the contrary, with the extension of cohabitation time and the exposure of each other's shortcomings, the road of smooth marriage is full of thorns.
According to a five-year follow-up study of 3746 couples in the United States, with the extension of cohabitation time, the possibility of marriage will gradually decrease, but the breakup rate remains at the same level (whether they will break up in the future is doomed at the moment you meet). After five years of cohabitation, the probability of marriage and breakup are basically the same, both about 15%.
Why is premarital cohabitation easy to break up
Relationship between duration of cohabitation and transformation into marriage
Yes, the fifth year of cohabitation is the biggest thunder point!
Let's look at the data of Japan, which is similar to Chinese culture. The sample size is greater than 2000.
The average cohabitation time of young people aged 28 to 32 is the longest, but sadly, the marriage conversion rate is the lowest.
Why is premarital cohabitation easy to break up
Why is it that the longer cohabitation, the less likely it is to be transformed into marriage?
There are three fundamental reasons:
First, cohabitation will gradually reduce the freshness and attraction between two people, while amplifying each other's shortcomings. After a long time, it will damage the couple's enthusiasm for marriage and determination to maintain the marriage relationship.
Two people are attracted to each other when they are in love. What they see is each other's advantages. When two people live together, all kinds of shortcomings will be exposed, including differences in diet, work and rest, and habits & hellip& hellip; All kinds of differences make more and more contradictions between you. The other party who once dazzled in your eyes begins to become dim. Not only that, because cohabitation makes the relationship between two people closer. When you wake up in the morning and look at each other's fluffy hair, eye droppings in the corners of your eyes, haggard faces staying up late, slovenly and sloppy on rest days, gobbling up when eating, and the images of 'little fairy' and 'gentleman man' collapse in your heart.
Second, cohabitation is a light constraint relationship, and the loyalty between the two parties is much lower than that of married couples (the probability of cohabitation breaking up is 5 times that of marriage) [1].
Psychologically, whenever cohabiting couples encounter major difficulties, they will think that they still have many choices and opportunities, and will have the idea of breaking up. Every time two people quarrel, they think more that this life is not what I want now. Would it be better to change someone.
Third, the 'Fantasy' tragedy brought by information asymmetry. Young people always think that there will be better choices outside. The so-called 'wife is a good family'. In fact, when couples break up and then contact the 'ideal' lover, they will find that everyone is not perfect and not necessarily more suitable than the original couple.
Cohabitation before marriage is necessary. It can make you know each other better. But at the same time, there are some risks. You will find that the person who was perfect in your heart has so many defects. Now the developed social media makes people's contacts more extensive and brings more options, which undoubtedly amplifies the risk of breaking up after cohabitation. So, friends who have lived together for too long, get married before stepping on the biggest thunder!
(source: microblog emotional Guardian classroom, if there is infringement, please contact Li delete)