A lot of Xueba look like a bull, but they don't know that low EQ is also a tough injury!
In my opinion, in addition to motivation (that is, whether you care, whether you think it's worth it, whether you are willing to use your IQ and EQ for someone or something), courage is another important watershed between IQ and EQ.
But I would like to talk about this issue from a theoretical point of view, because according to life experience, there is a big difference between psychology majors and non psychology majors in understanding this issue, especially the understanding of Eq.
Then, although I can more or less tell some stories to answer this question, such as the story of Mensa members, such as the story of doctoral students, the story of alumni of Shanghai middle school, the story of Fudan alumni, the story of successful entrepreneurs, and so on, after all, most of these people can be regarded as having high intelligence quotient, but it is easy to make a logical mistake in explaining the overall situation.
So, instead of telling stories this time, let's talk about knowledge and logic.
1. What is the theoretical definition of IQ and EQ? The theoretical definition is usually an abstract concept
What is the operational definition of intelligence quotient and emotional quotient? The so-called operational definition is to define intelligence quotient and emotional quotient according to the characteristics of observability, measurability and operability, in which measurability is the key.
IQ test is a process in which the abstract concept of IQ can be observed, measured and operated.
Then we need to understand that when an abstract concept is transformed into an operability definition, some accuracy and comprehensiveness will be lost. This is why IQ test and EQ test may not truly and comprehensively reflect a person's IQ and EQ. And sometimes, some IQ tests intentionally test only part of the IQ.
For example, in order to avoid the barriers brought by words, social experience, and so on, in other words, for the sake of fairness, Mensa's membership test questions are all graphic reasoning questions. In this way, it only examines fluid intelligence -- cartel divides intelligence into fluid intelligence and crystal intelligence. Fluid intelligence refers to the ability of basic psychological processes, such as reasoning graphics according to rules; Crystal intelligence refers to the cognitive ability based on the acquired experience in practice -- language ability, judgment, association and so on.
2. IQ is relatively easy to understand, but EQ is not necessarily.
Most people's understanding of EQ is to see through others and make them comfortable (or uncomfortable) so as to achieve some goals.
But in fact, from the perspective of psychology, the definition of EQ is: also known as emotional intelligence, mainly refers to people's quality in emotion, emotion, will, tolerance of setbacks and so on. The key words are emotion and empathy.
For example:
Can you observe and feel your own (or other people's) emotions and feelings?
Can you understand these emotions and feelings?
Can you manage your emotions and feelings?
Can you manage your behavior when you are in mood?
wait.
These are very different from making others comfortable, so many people have misunderstandings when they talk about Eq.
In any case, most of the people with high EQ in my heart are warm and calm when I am alone, and they are gentle and calm when I am socializing.
When we talk about IQ and EQ, what we really need to pay attention to is the basis of our own judgment, that is, the evidence.
This is not obvious in terms of IQ, because we say that a person's IQ is high, usually because he has outstanding results in learning and practice, and there are many opportunities for observation and repeated observation.
But when it comes to emotional intelligence, it's very vague. For example, it's hard for others to observe when one is alone, so this important basis is often ignored. When we are not alone, we can observe the performance and behavior, but we can't observe the motivation of the other party. Sometimes the other party's low EQ may be just because the other party doesn't care?
There is also an important difference - the judgment of IQ is usually an objective judgment, but the judgment of EQ is often subjective.
If a person lacks motivation for someone or something, not only EQ can't be used, but also IQ can't be used.
After all, even the old driver, people can not want to drive, just want to lie down and sleep... !!!!!
So, when we think that the other person's IQ or EQ is low, maybe it's just because the other person doesn't care, and doesn't tell us that his performance is because he doesn't care (at the same time, we didn't expect and find this), but we arbitrarily judge. After all, in this case, we are the ones with low Eq...
Why do I say courage is an important watershed between high IQ and high EQ?
Because the acquisition and performance of high EQ requires a person to face a lot of truth, the most real and naked human nature, whether it is his own or others.
It's not about IQ, it's about whether a person is brave enough.
Intelligence quotient may help us to acquire some knowledge and discover some truth more easily and faster, but whether we can open our eyes to these truths and accept them is, in the final analysis, a matter of courage.
Not everyone is willing to face:
Everyone is selfish, even parents, there will be resentment and do not love their children;
Human beings are not so rational, and we are not as rational as we think;
Human beings are the carriers of genes, so many instincts and behaviors are not for happiness and success, but for gene replication and survival;
No matter how strong a person is, there will be times when he is at a loss and needs help from others;
We discriminate against others because of our own cowardice and ignorance;
Sometimes even if you put in tens of millions of efforts, the result is not good, but also with a bit of luck;
wait.
In short, I think high EQ requires insight into human nature, which requires wisdom and courage.
Finally, if you ask me, are there many people with high IQ and low EQ among Mensa members, or are there many people with high IQ and low EQ among doctors, or are there many people with high IQ and low EQ among alumni of Shanghai middle school and Fudan middle school?
I can only say that this feeling is not obvious. Most of the double merchants are good, and most of them work hard. Only a small number of people seem to have low EQ, but it's just my subjective judgment.