It's usually said that foreign education is much better and China's education is much worse. Many people also go to study abroad from China. Is it really because the foreign education method is good? What are the disadvantages of China's education method?
Our Chinese parents always think that what they are doing is right, or what is good for their children is right. They have never considered asking for their children's opinions, considering their children's psychological feelings, and dismissing any parent-child education or family education. That kind of thought that I am a parent and I am a God is stubborn and meticulous. What Chinese parents lack is to bow down. Lower your head to talk with your child, lower your head to examine whether your behavior is correct, and lower your head to make friends with your child.
So how do foreigners educate their children?
1. Every morning, when Toby wakes up, Susan puts breakfast on the table and goes to work on her own. Toby would climb on the stool, drink milk and eat bread. After eating, he went back to his room, looked for clothes and shoes in the wardrobe, and put them on by himself. After all, Toby was only three years old, and he couldn't tell the front and back of chuzi's shoes or the left and right of his shoes. Once Toby put on his pants upside down again, and I rushed forward to help him change them, but Susan stopped me. She said that if he felt uncomfortable, he would take it off and put it on again; if he didn't feel uncomfortable, let him. All that day, Toby was running around in his pants, and Susan didn't seem to see it.
Once again, Toby went out to play with the neighbor's children. After a long meeting, he ran home panting and said to Susan, "Mom, Lucy said my pants are on the wrong side. Really? Lucy is a neighbor's little girl. She's five years old. Susan said with a smile: Yes, do you want to change it back? Toby nodded, took off his pants, looked carefully and put them on again. Since then, Toby has never worn his pants in reverse.
I can't help remembering that my granddaughter couldn't use chopsticks when she was five or six years old and couldn't tie her shoelaces when she was in primary school. Now in boarding junior high school, she takes home a lot of dirty clothes every weekend.
It's parents' business to discipline their children
Susan's parents live in California. When they heard that I was coming, they drove to visit us. Toby was so excited that he ran up and down. He filled the bucket he used to play with sand with water and carried it around the house. Susan warned her several times not to spill water on the floor, and Toby turned a deaf ear. Finally, Toby toppled the bucket and spilled water all over the floor. Excited little Toby didn't feel that he had done something wrong. He was also proud to trample on the water barefoot and wet his trousers. I quickly found out the mop and prepared to mop the floor. Susan snatched the mop from me and handed it to Toby. She said to him: 'dry the floor, take off the wet clothes and wash them by herself. 'toby didn't want to, crying and crying. Without saying a word, Susan took him to the storage room and shut him up. Hearing Toby's earth shaking cry inside, I was so distressed that I wanted to go in and take him out. Toby's grandmother stopped me and said, 'it's Susan's business. '
After a while, Toby stopped crying. He called out in the storeroom: 'Mom, I'm wrong. Susan stood outside the door and asked, 'do you know what to do?' "I know. Susan opened the door and Toby came out of the storage room with two rows of tears on her face. He picked up the mop with his two tall legs and dragged the water off the ground. Then he took off his pants, carried them in his hands, went into the bathroom naked, and began to wash his clothes.
Toby's grandparents looked at me in amazement and gave me a meaningful smile. I feel deeply about this. In many Chinese families, when parents discipline their children, they often cause a 'World War'. It's often the grandparents who protect them, the grandparents who block them, the husband and wife who quarrel, the chickens fly and the dogs jump.
Later, when I talked with Toby's grandparents, I mentioned it. Toby's grandfather said something that impressed me deeply. He said that children are the children of their parents. First of all, we should respect the way parents educate their children. Although the child is small, he is a born diplomat. When he sees the differences between family members, he will cleverly exploit the loopholes. This will not only do nothing to improve his behavior, but will lead to more and more serious problems, and even more other problems. Moreover, conflicts between family members, disharmonious family atmosphere will bring more insecurity to children, and have a negative impact on children's psychological development. Therefore, whether there are differences between parents and grandparents on the issue of educating children, or there are differences between husband and wife on the concept of education, there can be no conflict in front of children.
Toby's grandparents have been at home for a week, ready to go back to California. Two days before leaving, Toby's grandfather solemnly asked his daughter: 'Toby wants a toy excavator. Can I buy it for him?' "Susan thought about it and said: 'you've given him a pair of roller skates as a gift this time. At Christmas, buy a toy excavator for him again.'
I don't know how Toby's grandfather told the little guy. Later I took Toby to the supermarket. He pointed to the toy excavator and said: 'grandfather said, buy this for me at Christmas. 'the tone was full of joy and expectation.
Although Susan is so strict with Toby, Toby is in love with her mother. When he is playing outside, he will collect some beautiful flowers or leaves that he thinks are beautiful, and solemnly give them to his mother; when others give him gifts, he will ask his mother to open them with him; if there is anything delicious, he will always leave half for his mother.
Think about the relationship between Chinese children and their parents, and then look at the relationship between foreign children and their parents. These two huge differences are worth pondering by each of us. It's not that our education is backward, it's the wrong way of education. We have to change it. We have to bow our heads to accept the correct way of education. Only when the direction is right can we lead to the right way out. As we often say, Genzheng miaoshun. We all want to see children's innocent smile, so don't let children and you have a gap!