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How to deal with relatives' questions and laughs on New Year's day!


1. Q: do you have a girlfriend?

A: my boyfriend is very kind to me.

B: 'do you think I can find my girlfriend if I look like this?' embarrass him!!!

2. Q: do you have a boyfriend?

A: your daughter rented it home for the new year.

3. Q: can you understand the English on TV?

A: being able to understand means that people who ask too many questions are often ugly.

4. Q: when to get married?

A: you've been married for so many years. When are you going to leave?

5. Q: is the examination difficult?

A: it's OK. Every paper has questions that can be done.

6. Q: what are your plans for graduation?

A: I stayed at school.

Q: that's good! I'm staying at school!

A: take credit again and take another year.

Q: what do you do?

A: tell you you can't understand.

8. Q: how much money can you make each month?

A: 'this & hellip; & hellip; is not much. If you know it, it should be kept secret, right?'

Q: 'I can keep it secret. '

A: 'well, I'm better. '

For other questions, there is no rule about what the other person will ask, but it doesn't matter because we're not going to answer them in a positive way at all. So instead, our answers can be very regular: all of us should respond with the words of "ha ha, not bad", etc.

Offensive part:

Here are some chestnuts:

1. If the other party's child is from a minor to a college student, then there is a problem suitable for him from a baby to a graduate student.

The third grade of junior high school -- 'normal play should be able to enter the key / famous brand?', pay attention to the one he obviously can't enter, but can't exaggerate too much. If you talk about Tsinghua University, your intention is too obvious.

If you are reading again -- 'Oh, reading again, review for a year, next year is sure to do!' pay attention to rereading 'year'.

If you're going to take the postgraduate entrance examination, you'll have a lot of pressure to get a job. It's better to charge for a few years. 'pay attention to re reading' high employment pressure '.

If you are going to test the official apes -- "the official apes are good and stable. Although the people who go to test are all those who open the back door, there must be no problem with XXX!" pay attention to Rereading "all those who open the back door".

Baby -- "how lovely the baby is! It's not easy to buy milk powder now. Which brand do you like in the import brand?" pay attention to reread the import brand.

Those who are going to nursery, kindergarten and primary school -- 'it's not easy to go to nursery / school now! Has the school been found? They won't ask for' sponsorship fee '? The current education is really dark & hellip; & hellip;' pay attention to make a heartache.

Primary and secondary school students and poor performance -- 'can you please tutor? It should be up soon! Alas, the current teachers are not good at teaching & hellip; & hellip;' pay attention to criticism.

2. If the other party has a son, don't ask if he has a partner, but ask in a 'default' tone: 'brother XX should be getting married soon? Where is the wedding house bought?' note, don't ask 'whether he bought a house', but use 'default' tone to show that he should buy a house, you just ask where; the implication is that if he doesn't buy a house at all, it will be weak.

If the other party is a middle-aged and elderly person and has an older daughter, you can make a concern statement: 'XX sister / sister has a boyfriend, right? When will she get married?'

Or, for the parents themselves, you can ask 'help XX brother / brother prepare the wedding room? Where is the location?' the effect and key points are the same as above.

3. Next, the elderly themselves.

If the other party is an official (preferably a corrupt official) and is close to retirement -- 'in two years' time, you will enjoy the pure happiness? Well, no official is light! How nice to bring your grandchildren and enjoy the happiness of family. 'pay attention to reread' no official '.

If the other party is over 35 years old and obviously has symptoms such as beer belly / baldness, say 'how are you recently? Our unit has just had a physical examination, many people are either high blood pressure or hyperlipidemia / fatty liver / gallstones / diabetes. Do you have regular physical examination? You must have no problem, so you have not changed in many years, and you are getting younger and younger! "

4. Other sharp questions:

Aunt, how's the business going? I'm sure we can open more stores next year, right?

Uncle, when do you buy a new car? My classmate's father is driving a million cars to school to pick it up!

Grandma, now everyone is against square dancing. What do you think?

Auntie, how about playing mahjong this year? I have a classmate whose grandma won more money than her pension!

Uncle, will you be promoted after the new year?


Attack is the best defense! New year to learn to ask questions first, occupy the chat highland!