what's the best way to get along with each other in marriage? Do you have any common ground? Some people think that two people together should be 1 + 1 greater than 2, although this effect is excellent, but it is difficult to maintain. Now let's talk about it in detail!
Each of us at the moment of marriage, marriage is full of good expectations and yearning. Imagine the ending in a fairy tale: the prince and princess live a happy life from then on. But the reality is often: in the marriage life, there are always such and such contradictions. The two people who used to be in love with each other finally got to the point where they disliked each other.
A couple divorced because of a pair of socks. The wife is a neat person, the family is in good order, items are summed up neatly. The husband is more casual, where things go to throw. For example: every time a wife changes shoes, she puts them in the shoe cabinet, but her husband never takes them in and leaves them on the floor; when a wife folds her clothes neatly, her husband turns them upside down every time he looks for clothes; when a wife puts her dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket, her husband always takes them off on the sofa, on the bed or on the chair;. Every time I see this scene, my wife will be furious. The wife thinks that the home must be clean and tidy in order to feel warm and comfortable, otherwise she will be irritable and anxious. The husband thinks that home is a place for people to relax, and the restrictions everywhere make him nervous and unable to relax. They often quarrel about it, and no one can persuade them. Finally one day, his wife found a pair of smelly socks on the side of the pillow that had just been dried. They broke down in an instant. They had another big fight and finally decided to divorce.
Voltaire once said: 'what makes people tired is not the mountain in the distance, but a grain of sand in their shoes. 'marriage is different from love. Marriage is not only a combination of two people, but also a long-lasting running in. There is a saying: details beat love. Likewise, details can beat marriage. Sometimes the killers of marriage are trivial things, such as different personal habits, different hobbies, small frictions in life and so on. These trivial things are like a grain of sand in a shoe. They consume your energy day by day, tickle your nerves, test your endurance, and challenge your endurance limit.
In love call forwarding, Xu Lang and his wife fight for divorce because of the problem of squeezing toothpaste from bottom to top or from the middle. This is not an exaggeration. In daily life, there are few couples who divorce because of different tastes and different work and rest time. It's not that they don't love each other, it's just that they don't find the right mode of marriage.
My friend Xiaorong is a sports lover. She likes to climb mountains on weekends and watch English and American dramas at home. She is a lively person. A Fang is lazy and homesick. He likes playing games at home and watching Anti Japanese dramas. He is a lonely man. Two people with different hobbies and personalities not only got married, but also spent seven years with Meimei. It turns out that at the beginning, they also had a bad time: every time Xiaorong proposed to climb the mountain, the Arab side either refused or reluctantly accepted, then complained all the way, and finally broke up in unhappiness. Xiaorong thinks that playing games is a waste of time, and ignores her. She asks the Arab side to give up playing games, while the Arab side thinks that playing games is his best way to relax. Xiaorong thinks that domestic anti Japanese dramas are very mentally handicapped, while afar thinks that he is very tired at work and just wants to watch some brainless dramas. They often quarrel about these little things, and then they have a cold war.
Later, one day, Algeria offered to climb the mountain. Along the way, Xiao Rong saw that she was sweating and panting. She was still struggling to laugh with her. Xiao Rong's nose was a little sour. Since then, Xiaorong has no longer forced Argentina to quit the game. Every time when Argentina is playing the game, Xiaorong sits beside him and brushes the drama. Sometimes Xiao Rong will accompany the Fang to watch the Anti Japanese drama. Then he will go to Tucao together, and the Arab side will occasionally accompany Xiao Rong to climb the mountain, and make complaints about the love of the drama.
In marriage, there is a feeling called understanding, there is a kind of happiness called tolerance. As for the mode of marriage life, Bo Yang has said for a long time: those who live in marriage live half with their eyes open and half closed, and there are no perfect men and women in the world. If you keep your eyes open for too long, or shine with a demon mirror for too long, I'm afraid even God can find fault. This means: two people should respect each other, accept each other as they are, learn to seek common ground while reserving differences, and accept each other. Instead of trying to change each other and interfere with each other's freedom.
When a father in Taiwan addressed his daughter's wedding, he said: "marriage is not 1 + 1 = 2, but 0.5 + 0.5 = 1. After you get married, you two need to remove half of your personality to form a happy family. Marriage is not possession, but union. 'each of us is a 1. We have our own world, our own outlook on life and values. Later, when I met someone I love, I entered the siege of marriage and took it for granted that 1 + 1 & Ge; 2. However, there are no two people in the world. When two people live together, there are always all kinds of conflicts and contradictions. 1 + 1 is often not equal to or even less than 2. If both sides insist on doing 1, they are unwilling to give in everything. So this is a trivial matter, it is easy to be infinitely magnified, the original sweet marriage will smoke, war. Therefore, in marriage, subtraction should be done instead of addition. What we need is not a 1 + 1 marriage, but 0.5 + 0.5. Two people are willing to cut some edge for each other, abandon some principles, and change themselves from 1 to 0.5. Two people to accommodate and accept each other's 0.5, and then work together to form a new 1. This is the best model of marriage.
Hayao Miyazaki said: 'love is not to find a perfect person, but to learn to appreciate the imperfect person with perfect eyes. 'among thousands of people, we met, and we knew each other for a long time. And for you and me, the best thing is: you appreciate my difference, I accept your imperfection. You and I, in the end, became us. That's good.