Brother shuan'er is my son. Grandma has three sons and five daughters, and the eldest of the eight. I married my 16-year-old aunt when I was 13. They had their first child three years later. I don't know why, my father and mother gave birth to three children in a row, but they didn't survive. So in the fourth, they named the child 'shuan'er', which means to bolt the child like a door. This is brother shuan'er. I don't know if it's because of his name, or because brother shuan'er's vitality is particularly tenacious. Anyway, he has really grown up.
When I met brother shuan'er, he was already 18 years old. It was a time of fancy. My mother said that when I was a child, I was white and clean, with big black and white eyes, clear and transparent, implicit and spiritual, loved by everyone, and everyone was fighting to hold and coax me. But what impresses me most is that brother shuan'er leads me to play. I can't rest on him all day. Brother shuan'er is very patient with me and leads me around. One day I miss you when I don't see you. When I have something delicious, it's always for me. In childhood, I don't have much memory of my parents. What I remember is the smiling face and figure of shuan'er's brother. Once he gave me a piece of red candy. In that era when grain, oil and non-staple food were extremely scarce, such food was very rare. He would rather not eat it himself than leave it to me. Now the piece of red fruit candy seems to be still in front of me. I can still clearly remember the scene when brother shuan'er handed the candy to me at the edge of the rolling plate. There seems to be a trace of sweetness in my mouth.
The young brother shuan'er is a very active person. At that time, every new year's festival, the village organized walking stilts. Brother shuan'er was forbidden to participate because he was the only son in the family. So he secretly found two sticks to tie to his legs. He was afraid of being beaten and scolded by his parents, so he secretly practiced in my home, holding the pigsty wall step by step, and practiced for several evenings. Later, when he felt that it was almost over, he threw away his hand and walked on his own. As a result, he fell a bit of mud and got nosebleed for two days. From then on, he never talked about walking on stilts.
Brother shuan'er, who no longer practices stilts, is addicted to Peking Opera. He follows the group of old people singing Peking Opera in the village every day to run around and send a letter to others. He enjoys it all the time. By the way, he also learns some moves. When he learns, he goes home to show off. One night before dinner, shuan'er's elder brother was outside the door. He tried to raise the curtain of the door with a kick. As a result, his younger sister qiu'er came out of the room and kicked her on the nose. A huge cry immediately came from the room. Uncle just came in from work. Looking at sister qiu'er with blood and tears on her face, she grabbed the broom behind the door and chased brother shuan'er. Brother shuan'er ran away and angrily stood at the door and swore.
My uncle learned the skill of cooking when he was young, so he went into the factory after liberation and became a big teacher in the canteen. In the 1960s, there was a wage earner in his family. He was very prosperous in the countryside, and his life was relatively rich. So his brother shuan'er had a bicycle very early, and girls and boys of the same age were very envious. At the beginning of learning to ride a bicycle, Shuan er's brother was very unskilled and often fell over. I remember once when he went to Huairou by bike, a liberation truck came to him. Brother Shuan ER was very flustered. He rode in the car and yelled, "pull over the car, pull over the car!"! As a result, he didn't listen to him. He had to lean to the side of the road and ran into a woman who was pouring manure on the side of the road. Several working women scolded him. You'll hit us if the car doesn't pull over. You're a real hellip& hellip;。 This is the amiable and lovely brother shuan'er in my memory.
Later, as I grew older, I had my own partner, and my relationship with brother shuan'er gradually became estranged. When brother shuan'er was 30 years old, he was introduced and married his sister-in-law. She was a little ugly, but she had a good temperament and got along well with the old man and us. She never blushed with brother shuan'er, so she was a loving couple. Later, they had a pair of daughters. The eldest daughter was 12 years younger than me. When I was a child, it was like I grew up behind my brother Shuan er. His eldest daughter grew up behind me, and her appearance and personality were quite similar to mine.
Because I go out to school and go to work, I seldom go home when I grow up, and my relationship with brother shuan'er's family is alienated. In the summer of 2006, I suddenly heard that brother shuan'er's eldest daughter had committed suicide by taking poison. I am very surprised, that looks quite like my niece, brother Shuan Er, how can that cheerful daughter commit suicide? When I heard the news, I went home in a hurry and stepped into the familiar threshold that I hadn't crossed for more than 10 years. What I saw was the sad face of Shuan er's brother and sister-in-law. The whole family was in a mess and didn't know what to do. In the end, they couldn't explain why my niece committed suicide. Years of closed life made them numb and dull. I'm sad and resentful. Why can't I keep my daughter? But what I can do is to give them some help within my ability, and I can't change the fact. Maybe I should give them more care earlier.
When I went home this Spring Festival, I saw brother shuan'er again. The 61 year old brother shuan'er has entered the old age. His hair is much gray, but his face is still a gentle smile. The elder brother, who has been a farmer all his life, has a little self abasement in front of me. He is very embarrassed and humble to see me. He may have forgotten the little girl who used to lie on his back. But I will never forget that there will always be this brother shuan'er who replaced my father in my childhood. I feel very guilty. After so many years, I seldom visit this elder brother who gave me childhood love and joy. I should visit my elder brother shuan'er more!