Psychological experts say that the wife's direction affects the husband's career. Many people think that the spouse plays an important role behind the success. But a new study in the United States shows that if you don't pay attention to your way of life, supporting your partner can be counterproductive.
Self discipline outsourcing phenomenon
Granny & bull; M & bull; Fitzsimons, a psychology professor at Duke University, and Ellie & bull; J & bull; Finkel, a professor at Northwestern University, found that if you think of your partner's help in the process of achieving your goals, you may be less aggressive and procrastinate.
They call this phenomenon 'self-discipline outsourcing', which means that they unconsciously rely on others to push themselves to achieve their goals and relax their requirements. The research report is published in the latest issue of American Journal of psychology.
Depending on women makes you lazy
Three experiments were conducted to explore the phenomenon of self-regulation outsourcing.
The first experiment looked at how a partner contributed to a partner's health and fitness goals. The researchers chose 56 women with an average age of 33 because they were more likely than men to set health and fitness goals. The results showed that if they thought that their partner would help them, they spent less time and effort preparing to achieve their goals.
In the second experiment, 77 students, including 42 women, with an average age of nearly 20, were asked to understand how their partners played a role in achieving their partner's academic goals. The results showed that the subjects were more procrastinating and spent less time in achieving their academic goals if they thought of their partner's help.
However, the third experiment shows that people who 'respond' to their partner's help in a way of reducing effort have a relatively close relationship with their partner, indicating that 'self-discipline outsourcing' may have a positive impact on the maintenance of the partnership.
Don't tell a good wife what to do
Fitzsimons said the results don't mean it's bad to help a partner.
Fitzsimons believes that 'if you look at a single goal, as in the study, partner help may have a negative effect, but dependence on another person can make people focus on multiple goals. '
He suggested that people pay attention to ways to help their partners, such as Dennis, the husband of former British Prime Minister Thatcher, and Samantha, the wife of current British Prime Minister Cameron. They should give 'silent support' and avoid 'finger pointing'.
For example, the husband takes care of the children and lets the wife keep fit; or the wife takes care of the housework and lets the husband participate in important activities. This kind of practice can help partners achieve their goals and 'make the relationship stronger'.