Since the wechat circle of friends can be set to be visible for three days, almost all the friends around him have set it for three days. Many people jokingly claim that the people who still keep their circle of friends visible now may not know how to set the three-day visibility, or they may be wechat businesses. According to statistics, the circle of friends of more than 100 million people is only visible in three days. Why?
People who can be seen in the circle of friends for three days also have their own reasons. Some people think that they have too much black history in the past, some people don't want others to interfere too much in their lives, and others just want to look more mysterious & hellip; & hellip;
We'll hear similar conversations around us--
"Your circle of friends can be seen in three days. Is it necessary for us to make friends?"
'you don't think so. '
The circle of friends is a social tool to maintain the 'middle distance relationship'. When the friends around us can't meet, the circle of friends is an important way to keep in touch with the people we care about. However, it is in this era that the circle of friends has become a popular social screening function.
So, what kind of psychological motivation is behind it? Let's have a look at it from the perspective of psychology.
The circle of friends can be seen in three days, which is a kind of social protection behavior
Complex interpersonal relationship will give people social pressure. When the pressure value increases, it will naturally trigger a self-protection mechanism and activate the instinctive 'fight or flight' reaction. Most people will choose to hide their personal information and are not willing to show their own situation to others. This is a consideration of social security. In fact, there is nothing wrong with this, because the basis of social security is interpersonal distance. A circle of friends displayed in an all-round way will have a short interpersonal distance, which will create a sense of psychological instability.
Sometimes, many criminals get the information they want to know in the circle of friends, and then cause unnecessary harm to the owners of the circle of friends. Foreign studies show that some habitual pedophiles will get the victim information from the friends of their parents. Therefore, if we only consider from the perspective of social security, it is actually a kind of circle of friends management to choose 'circle of friends show only three days' at the right time.
If you hide your circle of friends for a long time, you may lose your sense of social presence
The subtext of a circle of friends who shows only three days seems to be: "I've been very well recently, but I'm not ready to let you know my past!" this gives people the illusion that he is deliberately hiding something. His social character setting is elusive.
Sometimes this sense of distance from hidden circle of friends can give people a sense of security, and even give you the illusion of 'interpersonal potential improvement' generated by social distance. But frankly speaking, it is actually high cold.
But, as John Donne said, 'no one is an island and can take care of himself. Everyone is a piece of the mainland, a part of the whole. 'in an era that relies on social empowerment, the hidden circle of friends may lose the opportunity to exchange self presentation for social currency. Any retreat in social occasions is actually cutting off the emotional links between yourself and your friends. When you hide from social media, you may lose your sense of presence in online social networking.
Hiding your circle of friends may also lose the opportunity to know yourself
When we hide our past selves in the circle of friends, we also lose an opportunity to know ourselves.
In psychology, there is a famous theory of 'joahari window'. According to the two dimensions of 'know yourself - don't know' and 'others know - others don't know', interpersonal communication information is divided into four areas: open area, blind area, secret area (also known as hidden area) and unknown area (also known as closed area).
The hidden circle of friends is a deliberate concealment of oneself and a one-way communication on social media, which will gradually expand into one's own blind area and live in one's own world. If one does not take out his own life and views for examination, he will never know whether his behavior is right or wrong. Closed self, may get temporary security, but expand the blind area.
On the contrary, an open circle of friends is narrowing its blind spot, and the comments of the circle of friends are feedback from others. The process of opening up is also a process of self discovery. By constantly receiving feedback from others, we can re understand ourselves and see our potential and new possibilities.
Even if the past circle of friends will have some "black history", it is advisable to show it appropriately. Mature people should dare to let the people around them witness their growth. If privacy is involved and cannot be displayed, it can also be managed by grouping friends.
In the daily management of the circle of friends, we should also pay attention to the following points:
Do not show the lower limit, ensure the purity of the circle of friends
In the circle of friends, such contents as "it's Chinese who turn" are inevitable to spread rumors. It's no doubt that this kind of friends circle is in the lower limit of IQ, so it should be cleaned up in time. Don't regard the circle of friends as a place to vent your emotions, and a circle of friends with impulsive negative energy.
Try to ensure that the tone of the content of your circle of friends is consistent with your social settings. You should prevent the 'mix of people' from giving people a feeling of being multi-functional and unreliable. What's more, it is necessary to prevent the collapse of personal settings.
Intensive cultivation and continuous output in the circle of friends
Continuous output is the key to build a personal brand in the circle of friends. In today's multifarious information, people's memory is easy to degenerate in the information flood, you must continuously output and disseminate your brand label. The essence of creating a circle of friends is to make cognitive construction for the people you want to influence and let people accept your positioning. Therefore, your expression and publicity should be appropriate and to the point.
Keep the bottom line and make sincerity a social label
Nowadays, individuals can no longer rely on opportunism to win. The flow of information is more transparent than before, and everyone is exposed in the Internet. If you want to shine in front of people and do things well in a down-to-earth manner is the king's way.
If you want to shine, you have to refuse speculation and move forward with facts. In the circle of friends, there are so many contents that it is difficult to distinguish between the false and the real information. Now the cost of trust in society is gradually rising. Only sincerity is your best self label.