These young people who bear the pressure from their parents to become children become more natural once they get the chance to talk to them. Recently, China has introduced a new program, similar to Japan's "roof Advertising Conference", but it has caused many parents' disputes.
Recently, a variety show named "juvenile talk" on a domestic satellite TV caused a heated discussion on the Internet. This program draws on the form of the Japanese popular variety show "roof Advertising Conference" of primary and secondary school students last year, asking young people to board the school platform and say what they think aloud. However, unlike children in the Japanese version, children are popular in expressing their blazing passion. In the Chinese version of the program, the teenagers' parents' accusations and 'Tucao' were aroused.
However, we should not be surprised by this phenomenon. The family education that Chinese children receive and the whole educational environment they are placed in makes it natural for them to confide in their parents when they get the opportunity to talk.
From the perspective of development psychology, the first thing a child receives in the process of growth and development is the frequent interaction from the family and parents, which constitutes the micro system of the child's growth and development; the school education the child receives is a slightly peripheral medium system; the education system and policies of the whole society constitute a macro system. In other words, parents' upbringing of their children has the most direct and greatest impact on their children's growth.
The problem is how Chinese parents treat their children's growth and development. Although Chinese parents are the most difficult and anxious parents in the world, their deep-rooted traditional concepts and the scarce educational resources that can only be obtained in the cruel competition make Chinese parents generally have simple expectations of their children.
They generally have a far-reaching plan for their children, and from the beginning of their birth, they expect their children to stand out. Therefore, they conscientiously urge and urge their children's growth and development step by step in accordance with such plans and expectations, especially the advancement of their studies.
However, not every child is a genius. In fact, the outstanding ones who can stand out have always been rare. Most children are ordinary children with average qualifications.
The problem is here. If many parents have the ambition to look forward to their children and their daughters, they will have the phenomenon that their parents force the rabbit to become a dragon and the sparrow to become a Phoenix. These young people who are under pressure from their parents can get the chance to tell them again.
Well, knowing the crux of the matter, those teenagers in the program take the opportunity to express their resentment towards their parents, which really deserves a lot of parents' reflection.
From the biological point of view, the innate talent of children presents a normal distribution curve. Most of the children are symmetrically gathered near the average level. There are a few intelligent children with outstanding talent, and there are also a few stupid children at the other end.
In fact, children's academic performance is highly related to their intelligence level to a large extent, which is the common sense of pedagogy and psychology. It's not fair to compare a child of ordinary aptitude with a child of other people's family.
What's the right way to do it? The first thing parents should learn and accept is that they should not measure their children by horizontal comparison, but try to make their children into products that meet their expectations according to the standards of utilitarianism and the appearance of "children from other families". Instead, they should discover, understand and accept their children without prejudice, and strive to cultivate their children into the best Himself.
Even if the middle system (school education) and macro system (Education Policy) of children's growth and development rely too much on the comparison of academic achievements, what parents as micro system should do is not to promote the momentum, but to become a buffer to protect children's healthy growth, and to remove the score pressure from school or education system.