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How to coexist peacefully with mother-in-law and how to deal with the relationship between mother-in

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually a university question, and many people often ignore the main points. Marriage to a man is equal to marriage to a family. How to get along well with all members of the family is an important course, especially with mother-in-law. If not getting along well may affect the family relationship, what should I do if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good? How can I ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Follow Xiaobian to learn.

Ways to ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

1. More communication

Husband and wife need to communicate, father and son also need to communicate, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should increase the frequency of communication. Because there is a distance between them and their mother-in-law. As elders, they hope that their daughter-in-law can take the initiative to communicate with them, so that they can be closer, so that you will find that mother-in-law is not so picky in fact!

2. Mutual respect and understanding

The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should properly deal with each other's relationship, first of all, they should have a correct understanding of this interpersonal relationship. Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should recognize that each other has an independent personality and economic status. The relationship between the two sides is an equal interpersonal relationship, rather than a relationship in which one side must be subject to the domination and domination of the other. It's very important to realize this. If both parties or one party lack a correct understanding of this relationship, and think that the other party must or should obey and obey itself, so as to regard this equal interpersonal relationship as the relationship of domination and obedience, it will inevitably show in action and attitude. This leads to the imbalance between the two sides. The mutual respect between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law requires that both parties should consult with the whole family on matters concerning economic expenses and the whole family, so as to form a democratic family style; and the 'private affairs' belonging to individuals should not interfere with each other, and the individuals should enjoy' autonomy '. As a daughter-in-law, you should respect your mother-in-law more, because she is old and has rich experience in housekeeper; a mother-in-law should not always put on airs in front of her daughter-in-law, but should see her strengths and respect her opinions more. That is to say, both sides should cooperate with each other and respect each other. When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together for a long time, it is inevitable that some discordant things will happen. At this time, it is more necessary for both parties to understand each other. The so-called "understanding" is to consider problems from the standpoint of the other party. The principles that our forefathers advocated in dealing with interpersonal relationships, such as "put yourself in the position", "treat others as you are" don't do to others what you don't want "and so on, all contain the thought of understanding. They are the" golden advice "for dealing with interpersonal relationships and are also fully suitable for dealing with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships.

3. Avoid arguments

When there are differences and contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both sides must keep calm. Even if one party loses his temper, the other party should restrain his emotional reaction and wait for the other party to calm down before discussing and handling the existing problems. Psychology tells us that negative and strong emotions tend to make people lose their rationality and lead to the escalation of conflicts; quarrels also have 'inertia', that is, once a little thing 'starts a war', there will always be quarrels in the future. Over time, stereotypes will grow. Therefore, when one party's emotional response is intense, the other party should keep calm and silent, or find a way to get away and avoid, and then exchange views and deal with the problem after the situation subsides. In addition, when the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have opinions on a regular basis, they should never talk to neighbors, colleagues or friends. There is a folk saying in our country: "the less we donate, the more we can carry.". That is to say, the bad effect of 'communication' in interpersonal relationship. Loss of harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can only aggravate conflicts by telling relatives, friends and neighbors, passing on and passing on. As a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we should be taught.

4. Can't disrespect my mother-in-law

Your mother-in-law is your elder. You should respect her. Not all mothers-in-law are unreasonable. Your daughter-in-law may not know how to speak. She has a straight temper. A word unintentionally can hurt her mother-in-law.

5. Combination of material and spirit

As a daughter-in-law, we should have a good relationship with her mother-in-law. In addition to material filial piety, we should also pay attention to emotional communication with her mother-in-law and eliminate psychological barriers. Only when we communicate with each other in time, can we shorten our psychological distance. Therefore, as a daughter-in-law, she should often ask her mother-in-law for help. When the old man is not well, she needs to take good care of her, so that the old man can be comforted mentally.

6. Play the intermediary role of son

As mentioned before, the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship is originally a new family interpersonal relationship formed by the extension of the parent-child relationship and the husband wife relationship. The son plays an 'intermediary' role in the mother-in-law relationship. As the intermediary point of the mother-in-law relationship, the son is the most important to understand the personality characteristics of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Therefore, the son plays a very important intermediary role in dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. This effect is mainly:

① A son can help his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law communicate psychologically. The so-called "communication" is the psychological and emotional return between people. Through the son's communication, mother-in-law and mother-in-law can easily eliminate psychological barriers and enhance feelings. For example, if there is any good thing about mother-in-law at home, the son can ask his wife to come out more often, the mother's birthday, and if he buys something, he can ask his wife to come out and give it to the old man. All of these strategies contribute to the emotional communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

② When there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the son can play a role of persuasion. Due to the lack of intimacy between mother and son. There is no close relationship between husband and wife, so it is not easy to eliminate the estrangement. Through the son's circumspection, the psychological barrier can be eliminated and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be reconciled as before.

7. Not too lazy

My mother-in-law likes a diligent daughter-in-law. She can share some housework with her family. If you are just lazy, my mother-in-law will have great opinions. Especially after having a child, more and more details need a careful, serious and diligent daughter-in-law. They are all passers-by. Knowing the difficulties of being a daughter-in-law, it is even more impossible to deliberately embarrass her daughter-in-law.

To develop a good mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship, both sides need to learn to understand each other and be considerate. For example, if you go to a garden on Sunday, a daughter-in-law should not only go with her husband and children, but leave her in law at home, so that her mother-in-law will not feel lonely. On the contrary, the daughter-in-law should take more care of her husband and her mother-in-law, and be more considerate. If both the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law can put themselves in each other's consideration and mutual understanding, the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will not only not have major contradictions, but also develop as close as the parent-child relationship.