Sihai network

Why not urge marriage

As we all know, one of the characteristics of Chinese society is "Chinese style urging marriage".

When you're 25, when you're 30, when you're still single, the whole family is around you.

The scale of urging marriage is so large that it is almost popular all over the country.

Urging marriage, in the name of love, for your good, I wish I could help you with the whole marriage.

Under the kidnapping of authority and filial piety, the person who is urged to marry either disarms and surrenders, or hugs the group to keep warm, suffering.

But the marriage view of the father in his fifties is contrary to the "great principle" of ordinary parents.

He told his daughter of marriageable age:

'daughter, you don't have to make a living in marriage. If you don't meet someone who really touches your heart, don't make do with it, because it's a person who gets along with you for more than ten hours every day. Your happiness depends a lot on this person.

If you marry, I support you; if you divorce, I support you; if you don't marry, I support you as well. '

He also advised the world's parents: 'marriage is no longer a necessity of life.

Whether or not to marry, when to marry, completely to the child.

This is their own private affairs. I believe they can do better than us. Be a relaxed and lovely parent! '

Cai Kangyong once said: the most grateful thing for my dead parents is that they never urged me to marry. When they were alive, if you urged me to get married, you would not see a free Cai Yongkang sitting here today.

Tencent's 2016 China marriage survey report contains a set of data.

Among the contemporary marriageable youth, more than 70% of them are influenced by the urging of marriage and love. The proportion of people who have been forced to marry for a long time and who have been tortured by it has reached 50%.

That is to say, on average, one out of every two young people is in the sea of forced marriage. What an incredible amount of data.

In the TV series "the name of the people", Lu, the "leftover girl", can also be a victim of urging marriage.

Lu Yi's mother is a high-level man. The president of the second court of gaofamin of Guangdong Province and the excellent student graduated from the Department of law with doctor's degree have experienced numerous trials and tribulations. But after her daughter enters the marriageable age, she will inevitably become a forced marriage parent.

What's more, the urgency of urging marriage. No matter it's her colleagues, friends or leaders, they all called.

Busy up and down, she would like to mobilize the whole anti-corruption bureau, and even the whole procuratorate to help her daughter find a date.

How stubborn can Lu be? Of course not. Of course, the mother will not give up.

At work, find the leader of your daughter directly. What? My daughter still needs to improve her business? Her focus now is on dating!

In life, there is nothing to do with it. The old friends of the University come to talk about their daughter's marriage instead of their old love;

When the director of the public security bureau comes, he doesn't talk about business. First, he asks if he is single;

In the face of children's marriage, the mother of a highly educated person would urge her to marry to such an absurd extent. Let alone, parents with general education level.

In the view of forced marriage parents, whether they have feelings, three outlooks and discord, and whether their preferences are similar are things that can be cultivated slowly in the future.

See here, there must be many parents who urge marriage to say: 'can happiness be a meal? Marriage is not love. The most important thing for two people is to live. '

Yes, happiness is not marriage. But in marriage, there can be no happiness. We know that marriage, in the final analysis, is a cooperation. But the premise of cooperation is that the two people have similar ideas, respect and common aspiration.

A person who pursues advancement, meets a person who is willing to be mediocre, will definitely have a different dream. A person who wants to be free, meets a person who pursues stability, is certainly difficult to walk with.

Long Yingtai is right: one is lonely, but two people can be more lonely when they are alone.

In Qian Zhongshu's besieged city, there is a famous saying: people outside the besieged city want to come in, and people inside the besieged city want to go out.

What is the essence of marriage? Is it the crystallization of love or the grave of love? This is no longer important. What's important is that marriage is no longer necessary for everyone's life.

Marriage, of course, has its attractions. It enables displaced people to see their final destination, enables the poor to hold a group for warmth, enables those who love each other deeply to snuggle up for a lifetime, and enables more people to have support for their young and support for their old & middot; & middot; & middot; & middot; & middot; & middot; & middot;

Marriage is a complex relationship. So before we get married, make sure we're ready in three ways:

1. Economic independence;

2. Intellectually mature;

3. The risks of marriage have been understood and can be borne.

That is to say, marriage must be 'I want' and 'I can want', not 'others force me to want'. The former can make us happy in marriage. The latter, will lead to continuous disappointment, complaint, suffering, tolerance, grumpiness.

Parents love their children and everyone will understand. But we don't have to sacrifice for it. If you have passed 30, and are facing eight ways of urging marriage and ten ways of forcing, please set aside the seeds when secular infiltration, kinship kidnapping and rumors hurt.