What are the reasons for the disdain chain deformity?
4hw.org: in today's materialistic society, many people like to measure their value by money, or even use it as a marriage transaction. With the increase of surplus men and women in China, many parents bring the slogan of "come here for you". Looking for a good spouse for your children, marriage has become a business with clear price tag. But looking at this problem in turn, more and more young people are disgusted with these things, which shows that the next generation should pursue higher spirit! Recently, there has been a heated discussion about the disdain chain in the circle of friends on Weibo. What exactly is the disdain chain in the circle of friends? Why does it exist? Let's see the details below!
Marriage has gradually become an investment, a clearly marked business. (this article is edited and collated by sihai.com, reprinted and noted with source, original link: http://www.4hw.com.cn/life/)
In the eyes of the parents who meet their children in the park, in the criteria for choosing a mate for their daughter, "good-looking and handsome" is only a condition, not the only decisive factor, which must be considered with material security. In the criteria of choosing a mate for a son, 'beautiful and young' is the key point.
In the "Climbing" marriage, one party has successfully entered the ascending channel of the class. However, it has to be said that the divorce rate is also rising every year, and the biggest reason for divorce is' cold violence '. It's not right for two people to have emotional resonance if they don't live in the same family. They can't communicate after passion, so they can only divorce.
And 'low on' marriage, will pull one side of the family into the decline of the class. I still remember last year's incident of "Shanghai girl fleeing rice". Although the incident is not true, the public's response is true, "this is not fleeing rice, it is fleeing life".
Relatively speaking, marriage is a way of promotion for the class which can be controlled by itself. Therefore, many people will enlarge the utilitarian factors to the extreme. First calculate the benefits and then fall in love. It's strange that the relationship between the two can be good.
The lack of love education in China
In fact, the reason for this dilemma is largely due to the lack of love education in China. Children's gender education is not timely, and the organized social activities are also limited, which leads to young people not to fall in love, and there are not many opportunities to fall in love. In the past, according to the order of parents and the words of matchmakers, the Chinese tradition was arranged marriage, and there were too few opportunities for individuals to fall in love freely.
If Chinese universities can hold dance parties like foreign schools every week, children will have a lot of opportunities to meet all kinds of heterosexual friends. Men and women are toasting and chatting with each other in the future. Are they afraid that they can't find a boyfriend or girlfriend? However, in fact, the opportunities for college students to contact with the opposite sex are limited. There are almost no other social ways besides classes and communities, and the opportunities for natural selection are even more limited.
A person can meet a very limited number of people who meet their mate selection conditions. Other people know 100 women through organized social ways, and you only know one. It's a good girlfriend. You are not left, who will be left?
The reason why the word "blind date" is disliked by so many people lies in itself. I don't try my best to break through the circle of making friends and do nothing in my small circle all day. Finally, I had to set up hard conditions under the pressure of my parents and try my luck at the blind date meeting. How can we get along well in the future if we don't have real contacts?
They believe in stocks, not in increments
In fact, it's sad for the parents to meet their children in the park. From the Cultural Revolution to the reform and opening up, their generation has experienced countless opportunities to change their fate, but they still live in a relatively mediocre life. They are not content with poverty, but lack of courage. However, they have caught up with such a big era and the real estate boom. Each of them has several Suites in their hands and is transformed into a 'rich man'. However, they did not match the ideological awareness of the "rich". They believed that the stock did not believe in increment, that the money in hand did not believe in the leap of struggle. Personal knowledge does not increase with wealth and luck. (this article is edited and collated by sihai.com, reprinted and noted with source, original link: http://www.4hw.com.cn/life/)
Their view of marriage and love is the same. They only believe in objective conditions, not in love. From a purely utilitarian point of view, their criteria for mate selection may be right. If the next generation of Chinese are still like their parents, standing still in an era full of opportunities, and still mediocre for life, then the objective conditions of the marriage partner may give you a chance to soar. However, this is the more mediocre part of the previous generation. At the age when both mental strength and courage are declining, they hope to create a breakthrough opportunity for their children in accordance with their past life path (no matter whether they regret or not). And it is also the wish of "pitiful parents" that has become a heavy burden on their children.
Beijing, a model of class differentiation
This is Beijing, a national center of power division from the past. The dating market is the magnifying glass of this class difference. The parents of the higher class try their best to prevent the cross class flow, while the parents of the lower class try their best to promote the cross class marriage.
Beijing's strict household registration system, coupled with extremely high house prices, has wiped out the influence of cultural capital in the class gap. For example, the blind date despises the Beijing nationality in the chain, and Dr. Jing Hu's men find undergraduate women, as long as they have household registration and mild disability. For another example, Beijing's parents demand that the other party be of Beijing nationality and despise the men from other places, which is also determined by the economic factors of high house prices.
For the ruled, the way to improve their disadvantage is not to overthrow the whole hierarchy, but to strive to promote themselves to a higher level. Those who don't want to fall into a lower social class are bound to struggle. Whether promotion or promotion, these people's struggle direction is often in line with the will of the ruling class, and even more conducive to rule, for example, ten years of poverty, the title of the golden list.
It's like the caste system in India. People of low caste will not oppose the caste system. What they oppose is their low caste. As a result, they worked hard to upgrade their castes. And those who succeed in promotion tend to reject their former companions and become the backbone of defending the hierarchy and class rule. (this article is edited and collated by sihai.com, reprinted and noted with source, original link: http://www.4hw.com.cn/life/)
Once the lower castes get higher castes, they will immediately consolidate their status through marriage and other ways, and build identity barriers to exclude and discriminate against the lower castes. They are the most staunch defenders of the caste system, because they pay a huge cost to get a leap in status.
As Xiao Feng said in his personal promotion 20, before getting on the bus, the following people were shouting: 'hurry up! Hurry up!' when they got on, they were shouting: 'don't squeeze! There's no land!'