Every time relatives and friends get married, they have to pay with the money. More or less, it depends on the relationship with the host family. So many friends don't understand how the money with the money comes from. Why do we have to pay with the money when we get married? Today we will talk about the money with the money.
What do you mean by "money"
In a circle of acquaintances, people raise money to send gifts to someone. Originally, it was not limited to marriage. Other events, such as longevity, full moon, earth moving, funeral and so on, could be gathered together. However, wedding is the most popular.
It's an old word, which has been popular since the middle of Ming Dynasty. This kind of name shows the atmosphere of collecting funds and working together. Tang Xianzu's "Peony Pavilion" the 33rd "secret discussion": "after Mr. Du went, he lied to many people in Yifu, prefecture, county, and so on, and set up a living Temple". This is an example. He raised money and built ancestral temples everywhere, which means that in ancient times, he raised money and spread money in disorder.
By the end of Ming Dynasty and the beginning of Qing Dynasty, the elements were more popular. For example, Wu Jingzi's novel "the history of scholars" was full of dazzles, which was full of "members" and "members". For example, the 27th way: "Gui's uncle also comes to do the human relationship, and he's a member.". There are more than ten chapters in the book, some of which appear four or five times.
Since the Ming Dynasty, this rule has been spread to the present. But in ancient times, people were more used to sending things to new people. By the end of the Qing Dynasty and the beginning of the Republic of China, giving money became an indispensable project for the celebration of the upper class. In particular, the Manchu eight banners pay more attention to the etiquette of giving money to members in order to reflect their status. Mr. Lao She's novel "under the red flag" describes the family's dilemma in order to raise money.
In the early days of liberation, it was not popular to send money as gifts for a long time. Marriage was particularly easy in the 1950s and 1960s. In the 1960s and 1970s, it was not very popular to give money to others, but relatives and friends would give warm pots, washbasins and other daily necessities. After the reform and opening up, people also have free money. With the concept of commodity economy deeply rooted in the people's mind, direct money delivery is accepted by the whole society, and giving money as a way to bless new people.
Sociologists say that the origin of "money" is closely related to farming culture. "In the era of farming, productivity and mode of production are relatively backward. Building houses and marrying a daughter-in-law are major issues, which are difficult to be completed by one family, forming a mode of pooling members. Each family gives gifts and money to help the family get through the difficulties. This is a primitive form of mutual assistance. Not only the Chinese but also Japan and South Korea have the custom of gathering, but they all have the same meaning at the earliest time, that is, as relatives and friends, they can help each other to make the wedding a success.
The more the wind blows, the fiercer the 'courteous wind'
People often complain that in developed countries, there are two things that can't escape: Tax and office politics. One thing that Chinese people can't escape is followers. Nowadays, wedding banquet has changed from a party where relatives and friends gather together to celebrate a happy event, to a kind of unbearable debt of human relationship.
First of all, there are more and more weddings to attend. Sometimes you can't remember who gets married and gets an invitation. Some people joked that for some bridegrooms and brides, it's the best time for them to draw up a guest list in their lifetime. It may also be the most likely reason that someone who hasn't been in touch for ten years suddenly appears in front of you.
In addition to weddings, people who have given birth to children, spent more than a hundred days, attended college, promoted, built houses, moved new homes, and celebrated the old & hellip; & hellip; all need to treat and salute, which increases the expenditure of the salute invisibly. The more fierce the "salute style" is, the more difficult it is for many people to bear.
In addition, the more money you have, the more money you have. Some netizens have complained that "red bombs" are hundreds less and thousands more. As the 'essential expenditure' of young people, if there are several 'good days' in a month, then don't expect to live a good life & hellip; & hellip;
If a young person who just graduated a few years ago works in other places, his salary is about 4000 yuan per month after tax, and his living expenses are deducted, and his monthly balance is about 1500 yuan. If you receive the wedding invitation, many of you will pay about 600 yuan. If you want to attend the wedding, you need to pay at least 700 yuan for the journey. And a trip down, at least to spend 1300 yuan. This means that many young people work hard for a month and can hardly save money.
What's more, some newlyweds ask for money directly when they get married. Last year, in a forum in Ningbo, a netizen named "Xiong AI" posted for comments, saying that an old classmate who was not very familiar suddenly called to invite him to the wedding. He didn't have time to decline, but the other side sent an account number, and clearly proposed a price of 2688 yuan. 'what should I do? Give or not?' 'bear love' means that it's very tangled. At the same time, many people think that it's "making money by marriage".
Why does it change with the elements?
What's the reason why the money has to go up and up?
The folk custom is deeply rooted, and people seek status identification through handling affairs and following etiquette. It is generally believed that more money and less money can explain some problems, at least prove how friends are. Some people always think it's not good to give less, as if the relationship between friends is far away.
The improvement of price level and people's living standard. The price of money and market is a kind of balanced game attitude. The price always goes with the market, and the water rises and the ship rises. The behavior of giving money directly is deeply rooted in people's hearts. After it is accepted by the whole society gradually, the amount of money will change with the development of social economy.
In other words, when prices rise and people's wages increase, to some extent, money will depreciate and the amount of money will naturally increase. Take Minnan as an example. The sum of money of the wedding party members usually has a little surplus after deducting the banquet expenses, that is, surplus head. This is the case for most of the families surveyed.
Unless the host is determined to exempt from the red envelope, there is seldom insufficient money to open the table. Why does this kind of market seem to be well designed? The answer is that the price of money is calculated according to the wedding wine market and naturally formed. For example, according to the local price and wedding banquet specifications, the price of a table of banquet is 1000 yuan, and the price of each table of 10 people is 100 yuan, which is the natural result of the price of each table.
More and more money, more and more happy events are also due to people's psychology of comparison. Others with 1000 yuan, their own with 200 yuan, face is very difficult to go, not only afraid that the other party is too few and afraid that others look down on, so fight swollen face full of fat, invisibly kidnapped by human feelings.
In addition, you and I have done the same, and the exchange of courtesy has gradually deviated from each other, which has evolved into the pursuit of personal interests, which will inevitably only increase the name of clerks. Interest is the biggest driving force of behavior. When people realize that they can get some economic benefits from hospitality, the momentum will grow.
When I was a child, the other party's gift money was too little, or other people's business was too much, and my gift went out too much. In this way, it's inevitable that some people will feel that they have suffered a loss, so I have to do everything, or even do something special. In a word, I must take back the gift that I went out with, not to mention how much I can earn, at least get the right one.
Do foreign countries have money?
Many countries have different forms of consuetudinary of following members, but with different things and forms.
U.S.A
In the United States, Chinese style 'red envelopes' are not popular. Marriage usually doesn't give cash. Most people choose to send ceramics, bedding and other things to express their wishes to the new couple. Although wedding gifts are not necessary, most guests choose to give at least a small gift as a blessing. According to statistics, on average, the United States receives 200 gifts for each new couple, each worth between $70 and $100. Some of them were sent by the group, i.e. by several people.
In some cases, some new people will also receive gifts. Usually brothers and sisters give three to five hundred. Friends and colleagues basically follow the hidden rule of "20 yuan for one year", that is, those who have known each other for one year will be given 20 yuan; those who have known each other for two years will be given 40 yuan & hellip; & hellip; usually to 100 yuan. If you grow up with a small hair from wearing diapers, you can get a maximum of $200.
britain
British marriage is dominated by gifts, the value of which is determined by the relationship, but friends with very close relationships may also give gifts directly. According to statistics, the average cost of a British wedding is 440 pounds, which is about the same as their salary for a week. The average Briton attends five weddings a year, which costs 2200 pounds. However, unlike the Chinese, the biggest cost of wedding is not the money, but the cost of their own clothes. Women in the UK buy new clothes for weddings. Out of the 440 pounds spent on each wedding, the average gift for newlyweds is just over 100 pounds, and the rest is used to dress themselves up.
Germany
Germans also pay attention to gifts, but they usually only give gifts without money. Not only for Birthday wedding, but also for family and friends' gatherings, as well as between husband and wife, father and son. Gifts are economical and practical. They don't care much about money. Sometimes a bunch of flowers, sometimes a box of chocolate, and then a box of Chinese tea, the sender is not aware of the effort, the recipient is flattered.
Japan
In Japan, the amount of friends is generally 3000 to 5000 yen, equivalent to two or three hundred yuan. For those who have a good relationship, they will be given 10000 yen, and for the elders at home, they will be given 30000 to 50000 yen, or a little more. Japan's per capita monthly salary is about 20000 to 30000 yuan, so the "followers" of family and friends' happy events generally do not impose a burden on their lives. The Japanese only send gifts to express their feelings, not that the more money they have, the better their relationship is. The higher the price, the higher the senior or leadership level is. Out of the care for the junior or subordinates, they have to give more than others.
The Republic of Korea
In South Korea, spring and autumn are the peak seasons for weddings and funerals. There is also an unwritten practice for the number of Korean followers. For example, the ordinary relationship gives 50000 won, equivalent to about 300 yuan; the good relationship gives 100000 won. In the beginning, Korean gifts were given to congratulate or share the sorrow, and the hero who spent too much to do great things shared a little economic burden. But in recent years, South Korea's money has risen rapidly, and most people in South Korea feel a little economic pressure.
Follower is a custom of Chinese people. Relatives, friends, classmates, neighbors, whose family has a happy occasion, let's gather together to add a strength, which can not only draw close to the feelings, but also solve the urgent needs. Why not? There are feelings of joy and sorrow in the followers. Money represents a blessing, but money can never replace feelings. If you regard the amount of money as the standard of feelings, you may lose the original feelings of people.