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Can't find a job. What's going on? Why can't Xueba find a job

These years, the topic of high IQ and low energy children is not in a small number. Why the life of people with high IQ and high education is not satisfactory? It may have a very direct relationship with their environment and family atmosphere. Looking at this case, they can't help but sigh.

Recently, Luo Hongyuan, the head of a marriage and Family Service Center in Ningbo, received such a call for help that sounded unreasonable. After careful questioning, she found that the reasons behind it were lamentable.

Unemployed after graduation

It's your fault to yell at mom. '

Xiao Li (pseudonym), a post-90s boy, has achieved excellent results since childhood, ranking among the best in his class. He easily got one in the University and studied the current popular finance major. It can be said that he is the academic bully.

But it is this enviable 'child of others' who stumbled when he was looking for a job after graduation. His beautiful resume won him many interview opportunities, but strangely, every time he arrived at this level, he was mercilessly brushed down. He turned to civil servants, ranking first in the written examination, but after the interview, he became the bottom.

After a series of attacks, Xiaoli lost his confidence, so he indulged in the Internet every day and stayed at home for two years.

The anxious mother whispered in his ear every day that she was going to find a job. One day, the unbearable Xiaoli burst out and kicked his mother away. "You're the cause of all my results now! You only let me study and don't let me make friends & hellip; & hellip; you can see who you are and how well you deal with it?"

After listening to these words, Xiaoli's mother was also very aggrieved. In order to provide Xiaoli with a good learning environment, their family came to Ningbo from other places to rent a house and live in it. They prevented Xiaoli from playing with other children. They were also afraid of affecting his performance. As for myself, it's true that I don't speak much with Xiaoli's father, have a bad relationship with my relatives, and often quarrel, but what's the relationship with Xiaoli?

She still doesn't understand what the problem is. She said, 'my son is obviously excellent. There must be no acquaintances in the employing unit. If someone introduces him, there must be no problem. '

A good girl's blind date

I didn't say a word, and I lost my chat

Wen Wen (pseudonym) is 30 years old this year. When she was a child, her mother quit her job, took her to school, accompanied her in extra-curricular classes, and took care of her daily life. Besides reading, Wen Wen didn't have to worry about anything. Thanks to her mother's hard work, Wenwen has achieved excellent results and found a good job after graduation. But on the day of rest, she stays at home and never sees her make a boyfriend.

Like many parents, Wenwen's parents began to worry about her marriage. They asked Wenwen to meet each other, but they were worried that their daughter was too simple, and they always chose to accompany her. Although Wenwen had already got his driving license, his father still insisted on driving his daughter to the appointed place by car.

During the blind date, the incommunicable Wen always felt speechless and ended the conversation with a few words. The atmosphere was very awkward for a time. When her parents asked her how she felt about the boy, she couldn't say. She didn't even know what kind of person she wanted to find.

Coincidentally, Xiaotong (pseudonym) is also an excellent girl. She is beautiful, knows life, has a good job and good friends, but she is still alone at the age of 30. She rejected all the men who showed her affection. Once someone expressed their love for him, she even made a move to draw a clear line. She was also forced to have a blind date, but she was very disgusted with this. The man asked for topics, asked about her work and personal situation, which she considered as cross examination, when the goods were measured the same.

It turns out that Xiaotong, who grew up in a single parent family, was instilled with her mother's awareness of "don't take care of boys, boys will bully you" and "as long as she studies hard, nothing else matters", which directly led her to deliberately avoid contact with men since she was a child, even if she had reached the age she should contact.

Experts suggest:

Don't just focus on learning and deep communication with children

'in fact, their performance is social barrier. And the root of it all comes from the growing environment. Luo Hongyuan is a national second-class psychological consultant and social worker. She has been doing emotional counseling for 8 years. Similar cases she has been exposed to are not uncommon in Ningbo. These parents have raised their children hard and cultivated them. When it's time to 'pick fruit', they have to swallow the bitter fruit brought by reality. 'many parents only know to make money and provide their children with the best learning conditions and life security. They value their children's academic performance most, but ignore that after entering the society, interpersonal skills are more important. '

According to Luo Hongyuan, people are born in relationships from the moment of birth. Most of the psychological puzzles are interpersonal problems. The source of the problems lies in the internal family system, the unique emotional atmosphere of the family and the communication mode of family members.