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Children are bullied outside. What should you do as a parent?

Yesterday, a netizen on microblog revealed that a little girl was suspected to have stepped on a boy in menglecheng, an Yongwang supermarket in Liangzhu, Hangzhou.

The boy's mother was emotional and repeatedly asked the girl to apologize. The girl's parents repeatedly apologized and called the girl to their side, but the boy's parents were not satisfied and repeatedly pulled the girl. They even clashed with one of the others and scuffled.

The staff of the shopping mall said it was because of the conflict between the children.

As parents with knowledge and culture, how can we set an example for our children in public? How should you deal with the bullying of children outside? Let's take a look at the answers from experts~

School is the bridge for children to enter the society. After entering school, children's learning and living environment is completely different from that at home, so they will encounter all kinds of situations that can't be met at home. One of them is that children are no longer the focus of attention, but become an ordinary member of the students. How to deal with children who are not loved and protected and bullied by their classmates at school? This is a headache for many parents.

I believe many parents have come across such a situation: after school, children come home with tears or scars and say to their parents wrongly: 'someone bullies me...' ". In the face of such a situation, some parents may become angry, and can't help but go directly to the bullying child or his parents for theory, teach the child a lesson and blame his parents; some parents may feel that their children are incompetent, and they should give a tit for tat when they are bullied by others, and come back to tell their parents that it is a hopeless performance, so they belittle and scold their children.

In fact, both of them are extremely wrong. Going directly to the bully's child or their parents is not only bad for solving the contradiction between the children, but also may escalate the contradiction into the conflict between the parents. Blaming the child for not promising will make the child feel more depressed and dare not tell the parents when he is bullied later, which may cause more serious consequences.

So, when children are bullied and complain to their parents, what strategies should parents adopt?

First, timely comfort from parents will make children feel warm.

It's common for children to have conflicts. When parents see their children crying and coming home to say that they have been bullied, they should not rush to ask them, because improper questioning will make them nervous. Parents should calm down their emotions and let their son feel comfortable and safe at home before asking him gently. For example, parents can hold the child or pat him on the shoulder, use body and language to calm his emotions, and then cut into the theme after the child's emotions have calmed down. In this way, the child will feel that his parents support him, so he is willing to tell the truth and analyze things rationally. At this time, there is no need to worry about who is right and who is wrong, because sometimes, they have different opinions and can't judge right and wrong. They just need to understand their own children. And support children to bravely express their true ideas to each other.

Second, teach children to call for help when they are bullied.

This is especially true for girls. Many girls are quiet and easy to be bullied by boys. In the face of this situation, they often bear it silently, which is easy to attract more bullies. Therefore, girls in the face of bullying, crying out for help, is a better way. On the one hand, it can attract other people's attention and get other people's attention and help; on the other hand, it is also a kind of warning and demonstration for bullies. After all, the bullies are wrong. When the bullies shout, they will naturally panic and dare not do whatever they want.

Third, help children build self-confidence and make friends.

Children who are vulnerable to bullying often do not know how to protect themselves. Therefore, the most important thing for children to avoid being bullied is to cultivate their self-confidence and make them brave and strong. On the one hand, parents should encourage their children more. Only when their children have enough self-confidence can they have the ability and courage to protect themselves; On the other hand, for the shy, shy and unsociable children, parents can often invite their children's classmates to come home, encourage their children to participate in collective activities and make good friends. In this way, children are not easy to be bullied, but also can establish good interpersonal relationships, which is conducive to the development and improvement of psychology and personality.

Fourth, don't pay attention to the ridicule of others.

Sometimes children feel bullied not because of the violent conflict between classmates, but because of the ridicule of their own characteristics. Therefore, when children are ridiculed by their classmates for some reasons, parents should tell their children to ignore them as much as possible. The other side can't get other people's attention by ridiculing themselves, and it will be over. If this happens repeatedly, the child should sternly say to the other party, 'I don't like you mocking me like this! Please don't do this in the future'. Once the other party understands that you are not happy with this, it will naturally be restrained.

When the child is bullied, parents must be calm and gentle, show enough care for the child, help the child heal the injured heart, turn the disadvantage into advantage, and gradually enrich the child's life experience and wisdom