Children's love of lying is the most headache for parents. I'm afraid that they will become a habit in the future, and they can't change it if they want to. In fact, there are reasons why children love to lie. If you want to flatter and flatter your child, you will try to keep the image of your child flattering and flattering. So we often hear 'dad, you're the best in the world,' 'Mom, you're the most beautiful mom. '
≫ & gt; & gt; click on the next page to see why children like to lie
Why children lie:
1、 Please others and boast.
Some children who want to keep the image of "good children" in their parents' hearts will try to win the recognition and favor of others by flattering and flattering. So we often hear 'dad, you're the best in the world,' 'Mom, you're the most beautiful mom. Some children sometimes boast about their words in order to win the favor of their friends. For example, my family has a lot of storybooks and toys. In this way, many children want to please their parents, but they don't know how to be practical, and turn into intentional lying.
Coping: parents should take the opportunity to express their feelings of being praised, and then teach their children to distinguish between sincerity, praise and flattery.
2、 From the rich imagination.
For some preschool children, because they are in the stage of learning language, especially in the role playing game, they begin to use hypothetical language. For example, suppose she is a mother, or a daughter in kindergarten tells her parents that she wants to marry her classmates;
Coping: parents should not be too nervous and listen to their children's stories patiently.
3、 Self protection, escape punishment
This kind of lying is often caused by fear, some parents or teachers abuse punishment, resulting in fear of children, leading to the main factor of lying. Some parents are afraid of the deterioration of their children and often blame them. Some parents are influenced by traditional ideas and think that beating and scolding is education. Some parents are rude, and their children will beat and scold if there is something wrong with their children. These are all wrong family education, which is easy to cause children's fear. Therefore, when a child has been beaten and scolded in the past, or something he doesn't want to happen, he will cover up the truth and avoid punishment.
Coping: as adults, we should realize that the essence of lying may be a way of self-defense adopted by children under the domination of fear. Therefore, we should first take into account the psychological impact of children, rather than strictly criticize the behavior of children.
4、 Evasion of responsibility
Children often use 'not me' to answer parents' questions. Therefore, lying at this time is a natural reaction to escape responsibility. From the bad side, the child dare not be responsible, while on the good side, the child knows that he is wrong, but his parents do not allow it.
Coping: children can distinguish between good and bad, we should take the opportunity to teach children the concept of right and wrong. We also have to reflect on whether the punishment method used in the past is too heavy to make the children dare not bear the mistakes in front of them.
5、 Imitating adults
Some parents themselves lie, which is the direct cause of children's lying. What adults say to their children is always not realized, and they are often regarded as' deceiving '. Parents and teachers are authoritative people in children's hearts. If they lie in front of children, they will have the illusion that it is not wrong to lie.
Coping: parents and teachers should not make mistakes because of their love of face, but need to self-criticism and admit in front of their children, so that children can distinguish between right and wrong, and cultivate children's good habit of self-criticism.
What to do if a child lies:
Pay attention to children's first lie
When the child lies for the first time, parents should take it as a major event to grasp, never take it lightly. Generally, a child will feel uneasy when he lies for the first time, and even if he has muddled through, he will be very worried. However, if the first lie is not corrected in time, the child will be able to taste the sweetness brought by lying, and he will have the desire to try to lie again. The child will feel that his parents are "easy to cheat", and his courage will be more and more, and he will tell more and more lies The more they make up, the more they look, the more they lie.
Listen more and communicate with your children
When a child lies in anticipation of negative consequences, parents should understand the child's needs and make more practical rules; if the child can do it and is willing to do it, he naturally does not have to lie. There are also some children who lie to their parents because they have little contact with them. In other words, parents should know more about their children's Thoughts on weekdays, so that children can feel their parents' care and attention to him. In addition, parents should not blindly compare their children with others' children, and put forward too high requirements for their children.
Don't label your children
Children's lies are often not intended to hurt others. Parents should not easily equate the child's lying behavior with the child's quality. They should not give a qualitative analysis to the child because of a certain lie, and label the child as a "little liar" and "liar expert". This not only has no help to the child to get rid of lying, but also has a bad effect on the child's lying behavior. It is the right thing to let children realize that 'honesty is a virtue, a noble quality, and at the same time, honesty can reduce the degree of punishment for negligence'.