From romantic novels, movies and TV works or real life, we can often see the scene that a beautiful girl politely refuses the courtship of an infatuated man: "I'm sorry, you are a good man, but we are not suitable to be lovers. "You're a perfect man, but I don't feel that way about you. Let's be friends. However, after a while, the heroine fell in love with a bad boy who was not very good at all. This bad boy could hardly compare with the good man before him: he was very bad to girls, had a lot of bad habits in his life, and even played around with other people; If you are the man who has personally experienced the "good man card" sent by the girl in his dream, and saw his goddess being taken away by a recognized little gangster or a guy with big and little love, then there will be pain and loss, as well as the lament that "men are not bad, women do not love.".
Many people have the impression that although a good man has a good character and is loyal to his lover, he is simple and unsophisticated, not good at words, and his EQ is too low, so he is not popular with women. The 'bad men' are lively, eloquent and have high EQ: they are better at understanding and understanding women's psychology, better at communicating with women, and better at creating romantic plots and atmosphere when they get along with women; After being rejected for the first time or even for the nth time, he will not be as reasonable as a "good man" and retreat in the face of difficulties. Instead, he will be dogged and grind until he has captured the woman. In addition, 'good men' are serious about love and responsible for the relationship between the sexes. They will not easily start to pursue a woman; when they are in contact with women, they will not boast about themselves freely, nor will they write beautiful empty cheques and deceive them with illusory promises. On the contrary, the "bad man" does not have the moral burden and many scruples. He is not only cheeky and wily, but also unscrupulous, but always wins or deceives women. This is the so-called "bold heart and thick skinned" seven word formula for chasing girls. Even some people have compiled a rich course on how to be a "charming" bad man.
Because it's easier to pick up girls, bad men tend to be less responsible for sexual relations and less loyal to love. Is it true that women are naturally more likely to favor this kind of 'bad man' who is more likely to hurt them?
People with a little experience in life know that in reality, it is not only bad men who can get girls and wives. Countless good men also have happy love and marriage, so the real situation should be that each has his own love. Is it that women sometimes prefer 'bad men' to make 'men not bad and women don't love' more attractive?
It has been discovered more than a decade ago that women's taste for men is affected by menstrual cycle: women in ovulation (at this time, the possibility of pregnancy is the highest) are more likely to be attracted by masculine 'handsome brother' than women in non ovulatory period (the possibility of pregnancy is lower at this time). Ovulatory women can even distinguish which t-shirt men wear by virtue of the smell on the T-shirt worn by men Their owners are more attractive.
Recently, a study by several scholars from Texas State University shows that it is the effect of ovulation hormones that causes women to like 'bad men'. The researchers took a group of ovulating women and a group of non ovulating women, showed them a picture of a "sexy bad man" and a "reliable good man" (photos from online marriage information), and then asked them which man would be more responsible in taking care of children, buying food, cooking and housework, so they were more suitable for marriage. As a result, women who are ovulating believe that "sexy bad men" are better. The researchers asked these two groups of women to interact directly with an actor who played the role of a "sexy rascal" and a "reliable father" and asked them to answer similar questions. Again, the results showed that women in ovulation believed that "sexy hooligans" rather than "reliable dady" would do better and pay more for their children. Interestingly, these women also believe that a "sexy hooligan" is a good father only if he has children with himself, otherwise, if he has children with another woman. When researchers ask what kind of father a "sexy rascal" would be if he had a child with another woman, they could immediately point out the disadvantages of this "bad man"; but if they had children with themselves, they believed that the "cool and exciting" villain would be a super good father. Obviously, ovulation hormones' deceive 'them, making them mistake the' bad man 'who is more suitable to be a lover for their future children's good father, so they are more suitable to be their husband's' good man'.
In contrast, women are also more attractive to men during ovulation than during non ovulation, which encourages men to pursue them. Women in the ovulation period, the skin is more bright, the face is more ruddy, and even the waist hip ratio has become smaller, making the whole person look more sexy. Survey data show that in single bars, women in ovulation are significantly more frequently accosted and touched by men than women who are not ovulating. Even strippers who are ovulating get more tips. Therefore, ovulation women are not only more likely to be attracted to men, but also more likely to attract men. Therefore, it is not difficult to imagine that the story of "love at first sight" often occurs in women during ovulation. No wonder someone joked that Romeo must have met Juliet when she was ovulating. If they met two weeks earlier or two weeks later, the title of Shakespeare's famous play would be changed to "a peaceful dinner at Capulet's house". In "Romeo and Juliet", Romeo is in Juliet's party scene for her beauty fell in love at first sight).
Now that we know that the 'deceptive effect' of ovulatory hormones is the biological and physiological basis of women's' liking bad men ', does this mean that' men are not bad and women don't love 'is the ultimate explanation? Far from it. The biological and physiological basis can only explain the 'proximate cause' of this phenomenon, but not the 'distant cause', that is, it can not explain the next 'why': why do they have this trait of 'being deceived by their own hormones'? In other words, why this trait (and its biological and physiological basis) of women evolved, and what evolutionary advantages does it have The more fascinating and more difficult question to answer, we can only make some guesses about it.
Evolutionary psychology tells us that women have two mate selection strategies, namely, long-term mate selection strategy and short-term mate selection strategy. The former is suitable for "looking for a husband", while the latter is suitable for "looking for a lover". When women choose a mate for a long time, they pay more attention to men's economic conditions, social status, good personality and sexual loyalty. There is no doubt that wealth and status enable men to provide rich material resources for the survival and growth of a woman and her children, while good personality can create a stable and harmonious family environment, and sexual loyalty ensures that he only provides material resources for a woman and her children. All these will ultimately help women to make their genes more effective. When women make short-term mate selection (one night stands and so on), they prefer the "bad man" with handsome appearance, strong physique, casual and elegant, more sexual charm and 'high EQ'. First of all, being handsome and strong means that a man has excellent genes, and if a woman combines with them, the children will be able to acquire these genes, which is conducive to survival; Second, if a child has such a father, he may not only get his father's "romantic gene", but also get his father's advice in choosing a mate. In the future, he will be more likely to attract the opposite sex, which is conducive to fertility. It is conducive to the survival and reproduction of children, and ultimately, to make women's own genes better spread.
Because of their evolutionary advantages, these two mating strategies have been preserved. It should be noted that the so-called female mate selection strategy does not refer to the mate selection method that women think out after conscious and rational thinking, but refers to that after a long evolution process, women naturally have such a mate selection instinct, and they have no clear awareness of what kind of mate selection strategy they are using. Because of this, women are cheated by ovulation hormones - when they instinctively use a short-term mate selection strategy and love a 'bad man', they think that the man is the right person for their long-term mate selection.
After all, human beings are intelligent life, and women are not completely ignorant of hormone deception. In fact, Wei Zhuang, a poet in the late Tang Dynasty and the Five Dynasties, has a very vivid description in one of his poems: "in spring, apricot flowers blow all over the head.". Who is young on the street, full of romantic. My concubine plans to marry her body and rest her life. You can't be ashamed even if you are heartless. "The word, in the tone of a woman, tells her psychology that she is deeply attracted by a" sexy bad man "and wants to make friends with her. This woman seems to have a much clearer understanding than the ovulating women in the United States who participated in the experiment more than 1100 years later. She is very aware of the possible consequences of being mercilessly abandoned by "bad men", but she is still willing and unrepentant. It can be seen that the charm of "bad men" is irresistible. In the final analysis, it's all selfish genes, and it's all caused by evolution.
Why are 'bad men' favored by women? Because their genes are in love. But a good man doesn't have to worry. Since evolution has also given women long-term mate selection strategies, the advantage of good men is unshakable. "Good men" can step up the love offensive when women are not ovulating. In addition, a good man might as well learn some of the communication and flirting methods that bad men use when they get along with women, so as to make themselves into bad and bad good men.
Finally, there's good news for 'good men': scientific research shows that 'sexy bad men' ejaculate significantly less than 'good men', and they are not as good as' good men 'in terms of getting women pregnant. Of course, this is another topic.