Now many middle-aged couples say that they have entered the emotional crisis. Is asexual marriage really so terrible? Let's talk about it briefly.
Half of middle-aged couples are in asexual marriage. In China, half of middle-aged couples are in asexual marriage. Professor Ma Xiaonian, vice president of the National Association of sexuality, said that although the topic of sexuality has gradually opened up, many adults still lack basic sex education and pay less attention to the harm of asexual marriage to both husband and wife.
According to the international view, couples who live less than once a month belong to asexual marriage. However, in China, middle-aged couples who are not young enough to be over 40 have a good life once a year. Sampling survey shows that 60% of divorces are related to sex, and too many people ignore the importance of sex in marriage. Ma Xiaonian stressed that 'sex' is not dirty or obscene, but should be regarded as' living with heart '.
Mr. Ye, who is 32 years old, is a private enterprise boss. His appearance is not good, but he has a beautiful and elegant wife. They not only own their own high-grade villas and cars, but also open several branches all over the country, running back and forth between several big cities day and night. The busy work made him tired. He didn't have much time to get together with his wife. When he got home, he just wanted to have a good sleep. Once had a lingering and intoxicated sex life, it can only become a distant 'old thing'. The 30 year old wife has to suppress her growing sexual desire and live a asexual life.
The "Rose" of love is fading. Li Jie and Wang Bo are college classmates. Three years of college love is the most romantic time in their lives. They got married soon after graduation. At that time, they fell in love with each other, immersed in the romantic world, enjoying the paradise of life. What they like to do most is to draw the 'Rose' sign on the calendar, which is the sex code between them. The year after their marriage, their son was born.
Time passed quickly. In a twinkling of an eye, the son was 8 years old, and young couples began to have conflicts. Busy work and endless social activities often make Wang Bo go home in the middle of the night. Even if he comes home early one day, he still holds the newspaper or the remote control. To his wife, it's also a simple "Hmm" and "OK". He never interferes in the housework, and he even keeps away from his children. Li Jie was worried. "I tried to communicate with him. I remember that on every anniversary, I often bought him gifts, but he said that my husband and wife had done so many things. 'They started to argue, and sometimes they didn't talk for days. The 'Rose' on the calendar is gradually disappearing. Seeing her husband do this to her, Li Jie quarrels with her many times and even threatens to divorce. However, Wang Bo readily agrees. Li Jie is in a desperate situation and only wants to find a way to investigate her husband. Finally, Li Jie finally found out the root cause of the matter: in order to take care of her son, she separated from her husband for eight years and inadvertently led to a long-term 'asexual marriage'. Although her husband did not put forward any opinions before, with her stable career and more spare time, the 'asexual marriage' gradually became the biggest drawback between them.
How can a vulnerable 'asexual marriage' survive? The longer the two parties live together, the more they invest in the relationship and tend to maintain the status quo. Even if they are not satisfied with their sex life, divorce costs more. Mutual love, shared values and life goals, and the days we spent together are all the "glue" that binds each other in asexual marriage. Some people turn their energy to work, study and personal hobbies, and can live on.
Dennis donelli, a sociologist at Georgia State University, believes that asexual marriage doesn't have to be tough, it depends on who you compare with. If you see that people of the same age and same sex are the same as you, you don't think there is anything wrong with asexual marriage. In other words, as long as couples feel that asexual marriage is' normal ', there is no problem. Otherwise, if you find that you have no sex life, the asexual marriage will be miserable, and you may be in a hurry for divorce.
Couples who are not satisfied with their sex life may seek satisfaction outside marriage, and cheating will aggravate the conflict between husband and wife. Susan Heitler, a doctor of clinical psychology at New York University in the United States, said that sex can promote the secretion of oxytocin in the posterior lobe of the brain, which can promote the feelings between people, so asexual marriage is vulnerable to a certain extent.