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Lily's "strong control" in "the love of the wise" is dead

Original title: the life of the rejected Lily in the love of the sages [Xiaobian said] the recent hot Japanese drama "you rob my man, I rob your son" has ended perfectly. But after watching the whole play, I was a bit dazed. The final result, too sudden, but reasonable. Everyone gets what they should have. The more hard they try to change the tragic life setting, the worse it gets.

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If my best friend is a "strong control"

What kind of existence is girlfriends? In the Japanese drama "the love of the sages", the No.2 lilies, as the No.1 girlfriends in the name of zhenyuzi, are happy to rob all their good friends. From small to large, whether it's a beautiful necklace, a commemorative doll, an expensive earring, Lily begged for everything. Every man, whether it is true that his father, brother and son are all responsible for this, Lili will rob them by any means. Why is a woman so jealous of her best friend? All of them point to Lily's vanity, greed, despicableness and disgusting. When we try to explore from the emotional level, to understand a person from the psychological point of view, it will often restore a distorted mind behind the unknown heavy and sad.

"It's so good that I'm also an only child" -- at the beginning of the competition between my compatriots, the girl Lily enviously expressed her "only child is so good" voice to zhenyouzi. From the psychological point of view, young compatriots represent the early stage of development, which means an attraction to the older compatriots in terms of identity and a temptation to retreat. Young and helpless children get more attention from their parents, just as many non only children worry that their younger brother or sister has robbed their father and mother of their love, and the need for attention is something older children have to or even have learned to restrain. In the face of young children, older children worry that their arrival will threaten their previously achieved balance of internal and external situations. In this case, jealousy and competition are normal emotions and expressions. As the eldest daughter, Lily in the play not only has a pair of parents who are totally insensitive to the children's emotions, but also has two naughty younger brothers who have divided up the care and drizzle that might have come to her. In her family, she did not care about the safety of her two younger brothers, nor did she show pity when her youngest brother drowned. For a child who has never been loved by her parents, she seems to have lost another enemy in the battle to win their love.

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If my best friend is a "strong control"

'if only my uncle was my father' -- the green and quiet garden next door is full of the laughter of another family. The handsome, talented and loving middle-aged man is the father of his dream. Unfortunately, it is another girl who enjoys this man's love. Relying on the talisman of youth and ignorance, Lily recklessly buries her head in the arms of her neighbor's uncle to beg for warmth. As the saying goes, a daughter is his father's former lover, but there is still no chance to get his love in this life. Therefore, it's not surprising that the girl looking for an ideal father to satisfy her "loving father complex". There is a misunderstanding about the description of "loving father" and "loving mother" in life, which simply means that a person likes or loves his parents and similar images. However, from the psychological point of view, if the relationship with parents is good enough in the early years, the love for parents can help a child grow up, thus smoothly transition to adulthood, and help develop a healthy intimate relationship. The true Oedipus complex in the theory of psychoanalysis refers to a child's failure to cultivate the emotion directed to heterosexual parents, or being ignored, or being seduced, which leads to a child's constant search for the same or opposite partner as heterosexual parents when he grows up. When a person talks about 'hate my father or my mother', it is actually a typical reverse formation. Behind this stubbornness, the subtext is: I still care about my parents. My standard of choosing a mate is still guided by my parents. I can't separate from them because I can't abandon the expectation and love I held for them when I was a child. If you keep this mindset, even if you meet a superior lover, the other person will suffer a lot in the long run.

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If my best friend is a "strong control"

'but it's really dad's reaction that's exactly the same as other men' -- pornographic projection recognizes that she is a little girl who lacks father's love, and it's just she who does not change her face or jump, and easily drives away the wretched man who is trying to take advantage with the little ice cone she carries with her. Why did the subordinates of the father set foot so boldly to the boss? Maybe it can be seen from Lily's bewildering smile, which was far beyond her actual age, when she faced the man. "I want to be loved anyway" & hellip; & hellip; 'when Lily nestles on her like a delicate flower, it's really explained by her father's mixed and awkward expression: he knows that he is not only facing a heterosexual other than his wife, but also a child with a female body but not mature mind. Lily's teasing finally aroused the reaction of middle-aged men. Unexpectedly, the triumphant applause of exultation didn't ring in their hearts. Instead, it was a kind of contemptuous private sigh: you are the same as other men. The ideal father who is regarded as unconditionally loving himself is just another vulgar man who is greedy for the body of a young girl. Lily's heart is soft and soft, not intended to say to the man in front of her, more like a self mockery of conjecture. In psychology, the above situation can be regarded as a typical 'pornographic projection identity', which means that the parties are used to establishing relationships with others through sexual means, and what lures out is often the sexual arousal of the other party. Li Yinhe proposed three principles of sexual love: voluntariness, adulthood and privacy. In the case of pornographic projection, the subject may be physically adult, but the mind stays at the level of a child, which is a kind of self-esteem destroyed in childhood: I have no value, I can only rely on appearance and sex to please others. For the lilies of the future, the response of the father to an ordinary man is that he instantly satisfies the psychological pleasure of lily, but the fragile self-esteem built on a mirage becomes instant bubble. Once again, the disappointed Lily experienced only repeated trauma - no one cared about my inner self.

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If my best friend is a "strong control"

'no matter what I do, no one will be angry' -- grief under anger in that luxurious but messy, unpopular home, Lily in front of zhenyouzi, angrily smashed the high-grade teacup in her hand. It seems that it's not easy to welcome an audience. It's necessary to perform. 'are you crying?' seeing zhenyuki's reaction, Lily was surprised and asked: 'for me?' zhenyuki nodded, with tears still on his face. Lily's expression changed from surprise to joy. Unexpectedly, she was used to living like a transparent person and could cause other people's emotional reaction. The magnificent bathtub of the Nuo house is covered with moss and weeds, just like the unfocused heart under the bright appearance of lilies. Sometimes, we will meet people like lilies: their actions make people extremely angry and uncomfortable, just as if no one in the world would understand themselves if they didn't let each other experience her pain. It's the same as a baby crying when hungry, when peeing, when sleepy, when lonely. Before learning to express our thoughts and feelings with words, it becomes the most direct weapon for a person to show his or her right to speak. It's not that we don't have the ability to communicate with each other, but that our anger and sadness refuse us to talk well.

'because your smile is mine' -- boundary ambiguity and alternative compensation 'you should always smile happily, so I don't allow anyone to hurt you. You have to save a lot of smiles. Whoever dares to steal them, I will kill him. Because your smile is mine. 'this set of lines makes many audiences feel difficult. Lily is the opposite role of scheming. Why does it look good to zhenyuki from the heart? Maybe when zhenyuki appears in front of lily, she seems to be the God sent envoy to save lily. In the concept of Lily talking to herself, good friends can share everything together. For people with unclear interpersonal boundaries, there is no boundary between people. Yours is mine. Just add lily that weak inside, I'm afraid it's very difficult to see their own as the real child. For Lily, she made a similar declaration to zhenyuki to protect God, but she loved zhenyuki as her own representative. In this sense, zhenyuzi is not an individual with independent identity, but an extension of Lily's self, which is the product of its pathological narcissism. Lily is not the heroine in the TV series, and she has never enjoyed the treatment of the protagonist in her world. Therefore, it is more appropriate to project the desire to be treated like that on zhenyuzi, and thus sprout a kind of Distorted Love, rather than friendship, as alternative compensation. Helping others is not necessarily a good thing, because it is necessary for them to ask themselves whether you are doing it for the benefit of the parties or by helping others to repair their fragile self-esteem.

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If my best friend is a "strong control"

'I won't give it to you' -- emotional isolation is fragile protection. In the eyes of jealous people, happiness sometimes does not lie in getting, but in other people's not getting. Lily in order to recapture the son who fell in love with zhenyuzi, unexpectedly raised a broken ice cone to her own son and killed him. When I was young, I saw his father hanging the corpse in the garden next door. Ordinary people's panic flashed across Lily's face. Instead, it was a cold line: "it's not easy to snatch it from him". In Lily's eyes, whether it's a neighbor uncle who is like a father's lover, a husband who is kidnapped by emotion, or even a kinship who is pregnant in October, they are just tools to fill their own lack of soul. Emotional isolation is a defense mechanism formed automatically by the parties to avoid pain in the subconscious. For Lily, it may be easier to ignore the basic human feelings and do harm than to face the lonely fact that she is not loved.

'it is said that the fate of type O is to take care of type B' -- Lily's paranoid desire for a 'good mother' when she first saw zhenyouzi, she once reasoned with the unscientific blood type theory to zhenyouzi that zhenyouzi was destined to take care of lily. Because in the early years did not form a good link with the mother, Lily has been seeking a good object in the bottom of her heart. When you really sacrifice yourself to give everything to satisfy Lily's wishes, you will become a "good mother" who takes good care of you. And once it's really impossible