One thing I personally experienced was yuan Tianze, a class of three years in Daqing experimental primary school. During the summer vacation, my mother took me to climb the Great Wall. I stood at the foot of the great wall and thought: I can climb it. "Let's start climbing," mom said I said, "OK, let's go!" My mother and I climbed up step by step. After climbing for about half an hour, I looked down and saw a big forest. You can't see the edge at a glance. It's like putting green on the earth. We climbed for another half an hour and finally got up. My mother and I took a picture as a souvenir. It's time we went down after the photos. Looking down, it seems that I have acrophobia. My mother saw it and said, "don't be afraid you won't fall down." then I dare to go down. I walked very fast and got to the foot of the Great Wall in a few minutes. I think this is a very meaningful thing, because I am very happy to climb the Great Wall. I also learned a truth from it. I have to do everything to the end《 A brief analysis of the composition (teacher's note 36) I changed the composition for two days, only half of it. I lamented the slow speed of my writing. No, I changed four compositions in one free class in the morning and five compositions in two free classes in the afternoon. It was not easy to change nine compositions in three free classes a day. Why? Of course, it's the method of rewriting. This time I changed the students' compositions to the point where they could read well, read smoothly and read brilliantly. Every shortcoming in them was found out by me. From the text to punctuation, from segmentation to word order, from conception to organization, and so on, I revised them, and wrote a lot of comments. Hard since Needless to say, but I also see some more detailed phenomenon and problems in students' compositions, which is rare in the past review.
The title of this composition specifies the scope of the content of the composition, but there is no proposition. It only requires the author to write a thing that he has personally experienced, regardless of the time, place, related people, nature of the thing, and can specifically describe the process. It can be said that the content of such an article is quite broad, and there are many subjects. Students only need to choose one of the things that have left an impression in their life. Therefore, from the students' articles, I see a variety of contents, many of which are not very good. Some of them have been changed by my tutoring in class. However, when I see their specific articles, I can't help but want to give him the content of this page, which is pushed by "read. 4hw. Com. CN" for you to change the topic. My requirement is that the title should reflect the content of the article, or the meaning of the article, or use one aspect or feature of the article as the title. The most ironic is that the lengthy title like a sentence does not appear now, but there are also those who directly use "a thing I experienced" as the title, or just borrow someone else's title to write, Or simply even if not on the topic, just pick up a word for the topic, and the content does not match. Of course, the most common problem is that the topic seems too dull, rigid and lifeless. In order to reflect the content in the title, but it takes a certain amount of time to think about, I often have to spend a lot of time to modify, not only to be faithful to the original intention of the author, but also to reflect the change and interest of the title.
From the perspective of composition narration, most of the students' narrative ability is good. Writing a composition of more than 500 words is no longer a problem, and the number of words is no longer the key problem. It seems that the daily practice effect is good, a semester can not see any obvious improvement, but this semester began to show. In their presentation, I can see that the organization of the language is OK. It's not a big problem to describe a thing clearly and completely. Basically, it's able to make a statement, and all kinds of contents and events can meet the requirements of the topic, reflecting the characteristics of personal experience. Only one student with learning difficulties in the class has written two things, which have been corrected in the classroom guidance, This is a good phenomenon. But in the numerous material selection, some students did not put writing in the main position, but wrote a psychological process, or a kind of thought and emotion. The whole article has a tendency to focus on lyricism, which is not consistent with the requirements of narrative. Most of the students did not follow the old way, did not play the old tune, and could write new ideas. For example, some wrote about their own Instrumental Music Grading Test in their spare time, some wrote about their going to the mountainous areas to help poor children with their parents, some wrote about interesting family collective activities, some wrote about the love of their teachers and relatives, and things also changed from a warm word to a warm word It is reflected in a breakfast brought back in the cold,... Although some students write about old things and ordinary life, they can also propose and conceive from different angles, such as "riding" is endless, I love raising rabbits, and "gunfight", and they can often feel unusual significance and thoughts in ordinary cases. Only a small part of the writing content still stays in the previous accumulation, and innovation is not enough, such as picnics. Although he can't bear to put it away because of his deep impression, he only makes some deepening and supplement in the case of previous writing, which is a bit cumbersome and repetitive.
One drawback of narration is that the language seems to be trembling and repetitive. Sometimes you have to use two or three or more sentences to emphasize and explain what is clear in one sentence. Some sentences with the same meaning constantly appear, and sometimes you will make the same mistakes in the use of words. There are also many colloquial languages that are not concise enough, and many unnecessary adverbs and auxiliary words are used. I actively used the function of deletion to modify these languages. Of course, there are also problems in word order and sentence order. I have merged those that can be merged, deleted those that should be concise, and supplemented those that need to be written in detail according to the context. Finally, we can read the language smoothly, without language defects and typos. composition
In addition, the students have the idea and desire to use good words and sentences, and often see the use of some idioms and proverbs in the article, which is a good phenomenon. But at the same time, we can see that they don't understand the new words or the good words they think they are using, and some imitated sentences don't understand their real meaning, just write like they are in fashion. When I come across these problems, I often write down the correct words here. Sometimes they are synonyms, but they are different.
As for punctuation errors, poor segmentation ability, and even no segmentation, I have also revised them. These problems are quite serious, indicating the importance of basic knowledge. composition
Due to the time relationship, we can only analyze it in a hurry（ (September 22, 2006) one thing that moved me, Fang Chao, you can also contribute:
In my 11 years of life, I have heard and witnessed many touching things, but one thing I experienced last week moved me.
Last Tuesday morning, teacher Yu, the head teacher, asked the whole class to go to the playground to practice radio gymnastics. My classmates and I ran downstairs. When we were about to reach the second floor, I felt someone pushed me behind my back. I stepped on my foot and twisted my foot. I was too painful to stand up. A few enthusiastic students saw it and rushed over to ask me what was the matter. They also asked about my injury and told Teacher Yu about it.
Teacher Yu knew and asked the students to help me to his office. When I got to teacher Yu's office, he carefully checked and repeatedly asked about my injury. He also called my parents, but he couldn't get through. Teacher Yu asked me, "did your mother go to work today?" I said, "Yeah." Teacher Yu asked, "is your foot still painful? Shall I take you to the hospital‘ I nodded. composition
So, Mr. Yu and another teacher surnamed Shi helped me to the bicycle shed. Mr. Shi helped me. Mr. Yu went to the shed and took out the bike. He said to me kindly, "come on, get on the bus." I got into the car gently. Mr. Yu pushed the bicycle, and Mr. Shi supported me from the side, came to the county hospital, and then mixed me up the stairs. On the third floor, Mr. Shi said to me, "let me carry you, so you can walk faster." That teacher Shi carried me to the orthopedics department
In the doctor's treatment and mother's care, I quickly recovered. But teachers love me and care about my things, but deeply imprinted in my mind, let me move, let me unforgettable. composition
You can also contribute: a story of personal experience a story of personal experience Fu guangtu, class 603, Baima Central Primary School, Pujiang, Jinhua, Zhejiang Province, has a story that I personally experienced. It is so thrilling that I still remember it. I was five or six years old then. Dad teaches in Zheng house, and of course I'm there. One Saturday afternoon, I took a homemade wooden sword to play downstairs. Suddenly, I was shot with a water gun. I just wanted to yell at the man. Looking back, it turned out that my good friend Lei Lei was teasing me! Seeing that I noticed him, Lei Lei said to me, "Zhuang Zhuang, it's boring to play with swords. Why don't we play with water guns? I'll shoot you with water guns. If you flash in front of me, if I shoot you, you will lose."“ Good I said yes. That's it. One shot from him, one shot from me. I flashed back to a well. But I had no idea. Seeing this, Lei Lei exclaimed: "Zhuang Zhuang, watch your back!" I thought he was joking with me. He waved his hand and said, "Lei Lei, you don't want to cheat me. I'm clearer than you..." before he finished, with the sound of "plop", I fell into the well. I struggle hard, unconsciously drink enough water, a blank in my mind. But there seems to be a flash of thought: "if I believe in Lei Lei, Lei will not be buried here." At this time, Lei Lei's father was just beside the well. He quickly climbed down the well and, like an old chicken saving a chicken, "plop" flapped his wings and rescued me who fell into the water and fainted. Surprisingly, the wooden sword is still on me. My dad's here, too. Dad pressed my belly to press the water out of my belly. It worked. The water came out of my mouth. But I have been frozen to death by the well water. How can I wake up? Mother said, give Zhuang Zhuang roast hand; Grandma said that she had to take a hot bath; Dad said, try the above two methods first. If it doesn't work, put a quilt on Zhuang Zhuang to make him wake up completely. If he doesn't wake up again, he has to be sent to the hospital. My mother and grandmother all agree that I can do what I say. Baked for half an hour, ineffective; It's good to take a hot bath; Cover the quilt, I slowly wake up. As soon as I woke up, I said, "Mom and Dad, I thought I would never see you again." Father said: "silly child, you are our heart, how can we leave you." Up to now, I still treasure my sword, because it is my friend in need and friend of life and death. When I was in trouble, it did not abandon me, did not dislike me, but bravely with me through the difficulties. This is the most dangerous scene that happened when I was young. God bless me. A personal experience, remember one day at 7:00 p.m