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I didn't cry, I just cried

That year, I lost my first love, I was unable to struggle with this unbearable love, my pain has exceeded the limit I can bear. A man came to the bustling street and got drunk in an unknown bar. When I walked out of the bar and vomited dirt on a strange man, his warm eyes made me uncomfortable. At that moment, I didn't know that the figure behind me had already started the prologue of our story.

Chest pain, heart good injury, lovelorn days are at a loss, feel only the desolation of loneliness, the shackles of missing more let me contradiction and pain. Looking for the lost happiness in the memory, walking through all the places we passed together, doing the things we had done together. When a person quietly holding a cigarette, he realized that maybe he could only vent his pain with words, because I was not used to the day without him.

His appearance, let me fall into another fate, in the face of coincidence encounter is just a smile, never care whether he deliberately arranged. Anger and hatred make me want to escape into another person's arms. I can't control the heart that even I hate. I naively thought that this man could save me. Even if I knew from the beginning that all this was just a lie, I was desperate to believe it. I just wanted to forget the worried first love quickly.

Perhaps, my birth was doomed to sadness from the beginning, and the strange family affection made me extremely lost. I pinned all my dreams and desires on love and this man, but the result is still the same. In the end, I can't escape the situation of being abandoned. The fallen soul reflects on itself in reincarnation. There is only the clear and pure dream, which can be sublimated in another space. Hurt by love, think will despair, and then repeat the new love to the past failed feelings baptism, naive fantasy that they can get a miracle.

Never thought of a man to give me a lifetime commitment, his appearance once again broke my peace, he is a small capitalist in a foreign enterprise, most girls dream of the object. I often ask myself why I can be liked by him. He really came to my world. In order to escape from sadness, I gladly accepted him. I don't pray for luxurious life. I just hope that this man in front of me can tolerate my shortcomings, give me happiness and give me a little sense of security. As long as we are happy together, nothing else really matters.

A year later, we got married and he put the ring on my ring finger. At that moment, I dared to confirm that I was his woman. Life together is plain. Like other girls, I went into the marriage lane and lived a peaceful life. Is not all men can not escape the temptation of the outside world, is not all men will not cherish after having. Yes, he still loves me and gives me plenty of food and clothing. But his mind, as early as in the tasteless days, bit by bit in being engulfed by another woman. Maybe blame yourself for being too easy to get, blame yourself for being too impulsive to make choices for your life.

Our time together is not very long, only two years. I thought I would become mature after experiencing painful lovelorn, and I would no longer suffer for separation. Unfortunately, when I learned that the relationship broke down again, I was so restless and dejected. On the contrary, I lost my excitement in the past and no longer cried loudly. I just sat there quietly, thinking and weeping. I didn't cry, I just shed tears. In the first days, I was not a normal person, just an empty body.

Time really can not measure the depth of two people's feelings, some unforgettable love even if it is just a moment to be satisfied. About love, I think so, it is pure in itself. Pure to the evolution of all secular, moral, ethical, until this step, we can complete this life intact. It's just a dream, the love I imagined, or everyone is imagining. Time passed day by day, and finally he changed. He was no longer the man who surprised me and took care of me. He became so strange, and even at my side, I felt so far away that I couldn't go back to the past.

Slowly, I began to fear, began to escape. I left, leaving the divorce agreement I had thought about for a long time. The only thing I took away was the gift worn on my ring finger. On the day of leaving, we live our own lives, he has his happiness, I live my sadness, life is no longer touched. The world is changing, and he is also changing. What hasn't changed is my idea that I was injured many times and still immersed in the age of innocence. So hurt, but I'm still eager to have a man who loves me and loves me.

Carefully plan for their own life, carefully avoid all the pursuers who deliberately close. It's not that I have no heart. I was secretly moved at a moment. I've been working hard and still haven't come out of this sad rainy season. After a long time, I was still single. I heard that he remarried and divorced again. The ridiculous reason came to my ears. It was a kind of irony. Because of my obedience, he began to regret losing me. I don't think any other person would be so dependent on him, right or wrong. After that, he really began to chase me, I know I still love him, I'm afraid he saw me pretending to take off the ring, I don't want him to know that I have never forgotten our past.

Lonely woman is terrible. I accepted him after he begged. At the beginning, we were very happy and lived a life envied by others. With the economic downturn, his business was forced to close down, and he lost his former glory when he was unemployed. Those who used to flatter him no longer exist, and those women who only paid for him also ran away. Only I stayed with him. I didn't think that he was moved. As a wife, it's my duty. Unexpectedly, frustrated, he became more and more violent, self explosion, alcohol, vent on me, a weak woman. I can't help but look at his fierce eyes. Once he was so gentle and cruel to me. Full of scars, let me almost stop breathing, again and again to forgive and did not come in exchange for his awakening.

No more crying, often helpless looking at the sky, can not see the future world. Scarred to leave again, nothing to take, do not want to go back, also dare not easily to believe in feelings. Later days, I live very quiet, have their own house and career, always entertainment with friends, inadvertently think of once, I will quietly tears. A new boy appeared, he is a lot of ego, he always gently asked me: what's the matter with you, why are you crying? I used to give him a smile, wipe away tears and tell him: I didn't cry. I just shed tears. Slowly I was away from his world, because I was afraid.