There are too many helplessness in life, which makes me silent. I don't know whether I am silent to life or life is silent to me. My heart has too much helplessness, and I can only move forward. Whether I like it or not, whether I accept it or not, I always treat life in a helpless situation!
Why some people are tired and can have a good rest, but I can't. no matter how hard and tired, I have to finish the housework I have to do every day. Sometimes I find that I live in this home as a nanny, but the nanny also has holidays, and I don't even have holidays!
Why do some people hurt, someone will bandage her wound and let her have a good rest, but I am injured. No one bandages the big and painful wound for me. I can only take the wound to face it alone. When it hurts, shed a few tears and bleed, I can only open the wound. Looking at the wounds without bandage, let it heal itself!
Why do some people help her bear her heavy burden, but I don't. no matter whether the burden is light or heavy, I have to bear and face it by myself. How I hope someone will share everything in the journey of life, but this is a hopeless hope for me!
I'm most afraid of getting sick. I'm not afraid of taking medicine and injections. Because I'm sick all my life, no one will bear the burden of my family, and no one will do housework. Looking at my 80 year old father-in-law, my husband who has been relying on drugs for a long time, and my ignorant daughter, I really want to cry. Why? I don't even have the right to get sick. When I get sick, I have to bear pressure and helplessness. I can only drag my weak body to finish what I should do, because I know no one can help me. No, maybe someone will say, can't this family be without you? I know I can, but I dare not imagine what this family would be like without me. I remember I wanted to leave this family twice, but then I gave up. I can't be so selfish and capricious, because this family needs me!
Sometimes I envy others that they can do what they want, but I can't. I'm also limited in the control of money. I never dare to give away a penny. I don't dare to buy clothes I like. I've been here for more than ten years. I've never bought a set of clothes for the new year. In addition to necessary clothes, I dare not buy one more. If I can save, I'll save, Because I know that there are too many places in this family that need money. Although I have a fixed salary, there is little left except for the living expenses. People who don't know me think I value money very much. Many people say I'm stupid. I have no way to face this family. Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, I try to do what I like and buy clothes I like, However, the real life does not allow me to do this. I have never bought cosmetics. Besides buying a bottle of face cream in winter, and the cheapest kind, less than ten yuan, to tell the truth, I love beauty and love nice clothes. This is the nature of every woman. I am no exception, but my economic ability is limited, so I can only give up!
I have my own principles in doing things. Once I make a decision, I won't give up because of the persuasion of others. Maybe someone will say I'm stubborn. In fact, when I make decisions and choices, I decide after careful consideration, because every choice and decision means to face and bear. There is no regret medicine in the world, because I'm afraid of injury and I'm afraid I can't bear it, So every decision and choice is very careful!
I like to go back to my mother's house best. Although it's very close, I seldom go back. When I go back to my mother's house, my mother never let me do the same work. Even my clothes are washed by my mother. Maybe everyone will think it's a little too much, but it's love in my mother's eyes, because my mother knows that I'm very tired and it's not easy. My mother knows that I can have a good sleep only when I'm around her, Before I can unload the burden temporarily and let me have a good rest! Every time I came back, my father always picked the vegetables and asked me to bring them back. When I saw what my parents had done for me, my heart was very helpless. I rarely did anything for them. I remember that on my father's 60th birthday, I bought cake and fruit and milk to celebrate my father's birthday. It was my father's first birthday in his life and the first time I ate cake. That day, my father smiled, I saw that when I came back, I gave my father 500 yuan, but my mother secretly put 300 yuan into my bag. My mother said, 'your father and I can still make money now. We won't make money in the future. You're giving it to us. I know my mother loves me. Sometimes I think if it wasn't for the illness of this family and my husband, maybe & hellip& hellip;! In my heart, as a child, I do too little for my parents. I can't return my parents' nurturing kindness and selfless love. I can only silently pray for them in my heart and hope that they are healthy and safe!