It was during the winter vacation that I witnessed two relatives having two operations in the same hospital. Seeing them tortured by illness, we know that peace and health are blessings. After the holiday, back to school, everything began to get on track again. In my spare time, I always remember the past.
Dad always likes to smoke and drink. He smokes up to 3 boxes a day. Over time, both fingers with cigarettes are smoked yellow. And every time I go out to work, I always smoke from my hands. When my hands are very dirty, I start to take cigarettes from my pockets, so that every time my mother washes my father's work clothes, she nags him for a long time because the pockets are too difficult to wash. I listen in silence. Strange to say, the 'old smoker' with a smoking history of more than 20 years suddenly bid farewell to the thing of 'smoke'. In the future, no matter what method others use to tempt him, he is always indifferent. As for the reason for quitting smoking, it is still a mystery. We have all asked, but we don't know the answer.
For more than 20 years, whenever I pass by some places and see something, I feel that the unhealed scars on my body begin to tear like pain again. Because there is a distance between home and the store, my father always rides a motorcycle to work. In more than ten years, six motorcycles have disappeared. If you just suspect that these cars have certain quality problems, in addition, these cars may feel better than death when they are driven by a drinker. Now the car that has been with my father for the longest time can't help but have some mottled bumps. Most of the time at work, he often drives home after drinking because of the host's treat at home, which really makes his wife waiting at home sweat for him. Although I was worried, the accident still happened. That summer, because I rode home after drinking, people and cars fell under a long bridge tens of meters. Fortunately, I didn't lose my life, but I was' luckier 'to break my jaw. During his convalescence, even eating was restricted, which was undoubtedly a torture to him. My mother and I looked at his painful eating, pretending to be very happy, but in fact it hurt in our heart. It is precisely for the sake of safety factor that the family has always disagreed to change the mounts of these two wheels to four wheels. I still remember that in the past, there was a red cowhide sofa in my parents' bedroom. At the top of it, there was a cutting mark about seven or eight centimeters long, and the sponge behind the skin was clearly exposed. Every time I saw it, my heart would tremble, and my palm began to sweat. That year, when my parents quarreled, my father let a kitchen knife go straight into the sofa and cut a gap. In terms of the strength at that time, if someone was on the sofa, the knife would go in, and half of a person's life would be lost. I often feel that the tableware at home is the fastest thing to change. When I put it in pairs, I will only see the existence of a single one, which is also the 'fruit' of my father's drinking. For a long time, with the continuous renovation of the home, everything has been completely changed. The previous indoor layout is now beyond recognition.
As time goes by, everything in the world changes rapidly. I am growing up and my father is getting older. From small to large, I was in such an environment that I was almost numb to all kinds of such things, but everything cast a deep shadow on me. Once young and ignorant would fight with my father and use rude words because of defending my mother against injustice. As a result, the neighbors knew that my father and daughter were quarreling again. Now my father may be in many considerations and rarely touch wine. Sometimes I have to drink. If I drink too much, I am still willing to settle down in an inclusive way. But one night during the Spring Festival in 2012, my heart, which had been quiet for a long time, was severely shaken for a while. After drinking with my friends, my father quarreled with my mother because of a trivial matter. I was tired of the scene at the moment and hated such a life. In a rage, I threw all the wine I could find at home into the yard. Even a whole box of wine, which was very heavy on weekdays, felt very easy to move. Listening to the sound of broken glass, I felt so happy at this time, but I couldn't help feeling crazy and painful. I screamed with hopeless helplessness. In the next few days, I locked the door, didn't eat or drink, and stayed in the bedroom. I wanted to wait for a moment to sleep forever. I hope to save an imperfect home, but finally my mother forced me to open the door.
There was no overnight feud between husband and wife. My mother easily forgave my father. A few days later, accompanied by my father, my mother went to the hospital for vocal cord surgery. I spent a few days with my mother in the hospital, and my winter vacation was coming to an end. On the afternoon of leaving home, I was in the living room. I felt that such a big house was like an ice cellar, which made me feel bitter cold. Shandong people have a saying: "go out and return home with dumplings." Every time I go out, my mother will prepare dumplings for me, but this time I leave home, I don't ask for dumplings, but I can't even see my relatives. I can only carry heavy luggage and set foot on the way back to Jingdezhen alone. Although it was never cold on the train, I was always filled with the cold of the north. My heart hurt and hurt all the way; Always worried, many, many.
After nearly 20 hours' drive, I arrived at school and soon received a text message from my mother: 'your father knew you were leaving today, so he hurried to finish his work and bought you fried meat for you to take to school. Unexpectedly, he was still a little late when he came home. He didn't catch up. Now he is very uncomfortable and blames himself.' After reading this message, I suddenly felt an inexplicable pain in my heart. In retrospect, I re-examine myself. I thought I had grown up. In fact, I had not been very sensible for so many years. In my heart, my father always existed as an image that had a shadow on me, so that I felt quite strange to the sacred word 'father', and even I never called him a few times in front of him. However, as everyone knows, he is now over half a hundred years old and has been running the whole family. Even if he has more shortcomings, I have no reason to cover all his shortcomings artificially. Mom has been telling me a word, maybe now I really understand the true meaning: 'even if he is no longer good, he is also your father'. I think, at least in the past few decades, he has always maintained the simplicity, simplicity and diligence of Shandong men. I have been paying silently and never complained. Because he is not good at words and expressions, his love for his daughter has never been directly transmitted. Everything related to me and my father should be transmitted by my mother. Therefore, my mother was granted the glorious title of 'setter' by my father. A few days ago, the continuous heavy rain in Jingdezhen led to the near annihilation of some places. My father began to panic when he saw the news in the newspaper. He told the 'setter' to call me and ask me if there was anything wrong? I felt funny and happy at that time, then reassured my mother and father, and asked my mother to pass a sentence to my father: 'thank you very much, Dad'. At the beginning of school, I never heard the news that my father had another drink and quarrel with her on the phone with my mother, but now I am also relieved. The family finally settled down. It's really good.
In the dusk of the pottery yard, it is quiet all around. Looking at the dim lights and the full moon in front of me, I have tears in my eyes and a slight rise in the corners of my mouth. Even though Father and daughter are deeply in love, they also resent writing and tell me my guilt. The vast road ahead, I only wish my father can be safe and sound, happy life and well-being.