What's the matter with children's fetishism? How to treat children's fetishism? Children's attachment to specific items is a headache for many parents. This phenomenon appears before the age of one, and generally disappears after the age of seven or eight. Instead of rushing to diagnose and correct their children's fetishism, parents should first find out the secret behind their children's fetishism and effectively prescribe the right medicine to the case.
Attachment to cloth bear
Baby on camera: Lele, male (4 years old)
Lele's parents are very busy at work. In Lele's memory, they have never accompanied him to the park once. Lele was taken care of by the nanny at home, but she had to do housework, so she often put him on the sofa to watch TV. But for the company of little boo bear, Lele would be lonely!
Lele loves his little cloth bear very much and even takes it with him when he goes to kindergarten. If the teacher doesn't let him, he will sit alone in a daze, cry and even lose his temper to the children.
Decryption: Lele's fetishism is due to his failure to form a safe attachment to his parents. Generally speaking, children need to be attached from 6 months. If their parents often separate from them, lack of love for them, and the living environment is boring, it is difficult for them to form a good attachment. Some children will transfer their attachment to certain items, resulting in indifference to their parents and other relatives.
Suggestion: love is an indispensable element in children's growth. Children who grow up in a lack of care often have many psychological and behavioral problems, and even will be difficult to adapt to the society when they grow up. Parents should try their best to spend time with their children; don't push what they can do for their children to others; timely speak out their love for their children, so that their children can truly feel their parents' love for them. When parents and children form a good attachment relationship, children's fetishism will naturally disappear.
The leaves lack a sense of security
Baby on camera: ye ye, female (3 years old)
Ye Ye is 3 years old. Her parents decide to share the bed with her. When they told the decision to ye ye, ye ye said nothing, because she was afraid of the devil, the dark and the wolf running out of her dream to eat herself. In the evening, my mother carried ye to the small room specially prepared for her. Ye cried and ran back to her parents' bedroom, but her mother insisted on closing Ye's door & hellip; & hellip; in the middle of the night, her mother secretly came to Ye's room and found that ye had fallen asleep with a quilt, which was printed with sun Dasheng, whom ye adored most.
Ye Ye is finally used to sleeping alone. Once, my mother took Ye's old quilt to wash, and changed it for other quilts, but ye cried and refused to sleep, so my mother had to replace it with the one printed with sun Dasheng.
Decryption: Sun Dasheng's quilt is printed on Ye Ye's love because it can bring a sense of security to Ye. A child's mind is extremely sensitive and fragile. When she enters a strange environment alone, familiar objects can release tension, relieve pressure and help her adapt to the strange environment.
Suggestion: don't let the child be in the environment that will cause his fear too early, such as sending the child who is under the kindergarten age to the kindergarten, so as to avoid the stimulation from the new environment beyond the scope of his psychological endurance. When a child is about to enter a strange environment or come into contact with strange things, let him have psychological preparation in advance and accompany him to adapt. For example, in the early stage of sleeping alone, tell him stories that can make him sleep well before going to bed, when he first enters the kindergarten, accompany him in the kindergarten, and gradually eliminate his uneasiness and fear of the new environment.
Kiki: skin hungry
Baby on camera: Qiqi, female (3.5 years old)
My parents divorced before Kiki was one year old. Although dad takes good care of Qiqi, he never hugs her, let alone kisses her. Qiqi is timid and withdrawn. She doesn't like to talk to people very much. Her only pleasure is playing with rabbit. She always put the rabbit in her arms, stroked it gently, and rubbed the rabbit with her face and body.
Summer is coming, Qiqi's body is covered with prickly heat. Her father takes her to the hospital for examination. The doctor says that the problem lies in the hairy rabbit! Father wants to throw away the hairy rabbit, but Qiqi refuses to say anything.
Decryption: Qiqi's fetishism is a typical manifestation of skin hunger. People are born with the need to be touched, especially in infants. Touch can make the child's body full of vitality, brain excitation and inhibition coordination, and can reduce and relieve the child's tension on some terrible things. If this demand is not met, the child will become timid, depressed and restless. In this state for a long time, the child may have loss of appetite, which will lead to dysplasia and mental retardation. Children with 'skin hunger' often show strange behaviors such as biting their lips and fingers, bumping their bodies against the wall for no reason, or touching and rubbing plush toys and bed textiles like Kiki.
Suggestion: parents should face up to the psychological needs of children's skin eager to be touched, and face their children with a happy mood. For younger infants, they should hold and kiss each other every day, and touch the head, neck, back and limbs of the child's body gently with their hands regularly; for older children, they can touch their body indirectly by playing body contact games, cuddling and playing with each other. In addition, when a child is sad, happy, criticized or praised, he can express his feelings and attitudes of affirmation, negation and comfort through physical contact. In this way, it can not only meet the psychological needs of children's body being touched, but also enhance the parent-child relationship.
Parents can also deal with their children's addiction to fetishism by:
Direct pointing out the inappropriate fetishism of children
Sometimes the most simple and direct way to educate children is the most effective way. Parents may as well let their children know clearly their disapproval attitude towards their fetishism, and explain the improper aspects of fetishism to them in certain ways, such as skin disease easily caused by holding down a plush toy in hot weather, inconvenient action of carrying a doll around all day, ridicule of sucking a pacifier even in kindergarten, etc. This kind of admonition is often used throughout life. After a long time, children's fetishism will gradually disappear.
Transfer the child's affection for the thing he loves
Children's fetishism is often due to the lack of inner security and the desire to get emotional dependence from objects. Parents can provide and create more opportunities for their children to contact with the outside world, take them to the nature to know more things, don't let them indulge in the small space of themselves and objects, distract their attention, and use family love instead of fetish.
Create opportunities for children to communicate with their peers
Children's psychology and behavior are easily influenced by their peers, while most children who are fetishized are closed. Therefore, parents may as well give their children more opportunities to contact and communicate with other children, so that they can understand whether other children are fetishized when they sleep alone. People have the psychology of following others. When they find that other children have no fetishism, they will naturally correct their behavior.
After reading the above content, we should know something about children's fetishism. More topics about children's health will be introduced in the following article. Welcome to check. Wish you a happy life!